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please rate my analytical writting essays
[#permalink]
04 Feb 2023, 05:21
04 Feb 2023, 05:21
question1: Issue writting
Some people believe that increasing violence in the media is the cause of increasing violence in our society, especially among children. Others believe that children's peer groups and parental role models are a much more powerful influence on children's behavior.
Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented above.
answer:
The content we are consuming today in the form of media has increased folds of violence as compared to the earlier times. The movies, web series, songs, even news contains a higher rate of wordsor actions that are generally aligned with violence.
Media like movies have number of plots where in the protagnist is involved in violent activites which ultimaltely reflect their mettlesome nature. Since young population is consuming this type of media on a regulara basis and that too in high quantities, it will not be wrong to believe that this can be the cause of the increase in the young population. For instance, Tom was watching a movie in which the hero has to fight with several men to finally prove his strength and earn respect. As Tom consumes this content, next time Tom is being bullied his automatic response would be to get violently involved wtih the bully to either prove his strength or to earn some respect in the eyes of the bully. However, this reaction can further escalte the situation rather than solving the problem.
Use of bombastic language in media like songs or videos is also promoting childern to use such vocabularly which sometime may turn into a violent episode. Even though the person using such language was only trying to be cool by using such trendy language it turned into something totally different than expected.
It is said that children are the mirror of the enviroment they grow up in. If the child is exposed to violent incidents more than often they mayaccquire this as the normal tendency and start to act like the group they are spending time with. So, it won't be wrong to aver that childern's peer group have a lasting impact on them. For example, Harish and his friends are a group of five friends. If Rahul is a guy who thends to flex his muscle if he doesn't get what he desires, the lesson Harish and his friends can learn is "if you don't get what you want, engaging in violent activites is justified".
If the child watches his/her parents or the people in their parental role model engagging in violent episodes, they will pick up these habits because they lookup to them for all kind of habits.
I would like to conclude this by pointing out that even though the violence in the media is increasing, children's peer groups and role models also have a deep impact on them. If the role models or groups have tedency to involved in these kind of violent incidents media is only adding fue to the fire by glorifying violence as a mean to earn respect and potray strength and courage.
question 2: analyse argument
“In order to alleviate the serious unemployment problem in our town, we should encourage Autotech to build its automobile manufacturing plant in our area. The Hillview landfill, which has been undeveloped for decades, is a perfect site for this plant. The building and staffing of this plant will put to work thousands of Hillview residents left unemployed after Computech computer software programming company abandoned its national facility last year. I am asking the City Council to authorize a large campaign to attract the company and offer significant tax incentives to make our town attractive to this giant of car manufacturing.”
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
answer:
Author says that unemployment in their area is a serious problem, and suggests that if the City Council authorizes a large campaign to attract the company and offer tax incentives to the firm would make the town an attractive option for the company to set up its new automobile manufacturing plant.
As there are lot of arguments made by the author in order to convince the City Council. There are number of assumptions made by the author which enervates the argunents put forward by the author.
Firstly, the arugment bythe auhtor says nothing about the requirements. Author assumens that by giving the company significant tax incentives the company will prefer the town for its upcoming plant. What if the requirements of the company are not met by the town due to logistics or lack of infracstructure. If in this condition the City Council invests in the large campaign, they may end up using the funds that could hve been used to genetrate some jobs.
Secondly, the author assumes that the population of the town posses the sill set required by the company in order to be eligible to complete the job effienctly.
Thirdly, the author also assumens that the company will give employement to a high number of people from the town and won't transfer it already existing employees form different plants in order to operate this new plant.
Moreover, if the company decides to set up its new car manufacturing plant in the town and starts to operate there, this can cause number of issues as the manufacturing plant may release toxic waste in the city water resources, not only resulting in polluting the water body butalso effecting the enviromnent around it. The plant may contribute to a large chunk of noise pollution of the town which may also affect the living condition of the people living there and may even hamper the tourism industry in the town which will eventually lead to loss of jobs of people in the tourism sector of the town.
In conclusion, the arguments put forward by the author in front of the Citry Counil for making the town an attractive destination for the upcoming car manufacturing plant has many loop holes and should be rectified before making any decisions.
Some people believe that increasing violence in the media is the cause of increasing violence in our society, especially among children. Others believe that children's peer groups and parental role models are a much more powerful influence on children's behavior.
Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented above.
answer:
The content we are consuming today in the form of media has increased folds of violence as compared to the earlier times. The movies, web series, songs, even news contains a higher rate of wordsor actions that are generally aligned with violence.
Media like movies have number of plots where in the protagnist is involved in violent activites which ultimaltely reflect their mettlesome nature. Since young population is consuming this type of media on a regulara basis and that too in high quantities, it will not be wrong to believe that this can be the cause of the increase in the young population. For instance, Tom was watching a movie in which the hero has to fight with several men to finally prove his strength and earn respect. As Tom consumes this content, next time Tom is being bullied his automatic response would be to get violently involved wtih the bully to either prove his strength or to earn some respect in the eyes of the bully. However, this reaction can further escalte the situation rather than solving the problem.
Use of bombastic language in media like songs or videos is also promoting childern to use such vocabularly which sometime may turn into a violent episode. Even though the person using such language was only trying to be cool by using such trendy language it turned into something totally different than expected.
It is said that children are the mirror of the enviroment they grow up in. If the child is exposed to violent incidents more than often they mayaccquire this as the normal tendency and start to act like the group they are spending time with. So, it won't be wrong to aver that childern's peer group have a lasting impact on them. For example, Harish and his friends are a group of five friends. If Rahul is a guy who thends to flex his muscle if he doesn't get what he desires, the lesson Harish and his friends can learn is "if you don't get what you want, engaging in violent activites is justified".
If the child watches his/her parents or the people in their parental role model engagging in violent episodes, they will pick up these habits because they lookup to them for all kind of habits.
I would like to conclude this by pointing out that even though the violence in the media is increasing, children's peer groups and role models also have a deep impact on them. If the role models or groups have tedency to involved in these kind of violent incidents media is only adding fue to the fire by glorifying violence as a mean to earn respect and potray strength and courage.
question 2: analyse argument
“In order to alleviate the serious unemployment problem in our town, we should encourage Autotech to build its automobile manufacturing plant in our area. The Hillview landfill, which has been undeveloped for decades, is a perfect site for this plant. The building and staffing of this plant will put to work thousands of Hillview residents left unemployed after Computech computer software programming company abandoned its national facility last year. I am asking the City Council to authorize a large campaign to attract the company and offer significant tax incentives to make our town attractive to this giant of car manufacturing.”
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
answer:
Author says that unemployment in their area is a serious problem, and suggests that if the City Council authorizes a large campaign to attract the company and offer tax incentives to the firm would make the town an attractive option for the company to set up its new automobile manufacturing plant.
As there are lot of arguments made by the author in order to convince the City Council. There are number of assumptions made by the author which enervates the argunents put forward by the author.
Firstly, the arugment bythe auhtor says nothing about the requirements. Author assumens that by giving the company significant tax incentives the company will prefer the town for its upcoming plant. What if the requirements of the company are not met by the town due to logistics or lack of infracstructure. If in this condition the City Council invests in the large campaign, they may end up using the funds that could hve been used to genetrate some jobs.
Secondly, the author assumes that the population of the town posses the sill set required by the company in order to be eligible to complete the job effienctly.
Thirdly, the author also assumens that the company will give employement to a high number of people from the town and won't transfer it already existing employees form different plants in order to operate this new plant.
Moreover, if the company decides to set up its new car manufacturing plant in the town and starts to operate there, this can cause number of issues as the manufacturing plant may release toxic waste in the city water resources, not only resulting in polluting the water body butalso effecting the enviromnent around it. The plant may contribute to a large chunk of noise pollution of the town which may also affect the living condition of the people living there and may even hamper the tourism industry in the town which will eventually lead to loss of jobs of people in the tourism sector of the town.
In conclusion, the arguments put forward by the author in front of the Citry Counil for making the town an attractive destination for the upcoming car manufacturing plant has many loop holes and should be rectified before making any decisions.
Re: please rate my analytical writting essays
[#permalink]
04 Feb 2023, 08:49
04 Feb 2023, 08:49
1
Expert Reply
Essay structure and content: 48%
Paragraph 1 - introduction: 83%
Title:
I could not detect any word with four letters or more in your title that was not capitalized. This tells me that you have capitalized your title correctly. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Opening:
The content we are consuming today in the form of media has increased folds of violence as compared to the earlier times.
I noticed that you started your essay with a surprising statistic to engage the reader's attention. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Context:
I checked your introduction for words and phrases that writers use to establish the importance of their topic. I was unable to find any matches. Establish the importance of your topic with one of these phrases: a vital factor in, the leading cause of, widely considered to be, set to become, undergoing a revolution, is responsible for. There are others. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Thesis:
The movies, web series, songs, even news contains a higher rate of wordsor actions that are generally aligned with violence.
The last sentence uses provocative words that will make an impact on your reader. That's good. Remember that a good thesis statement should express a debatable claim that you can support with evidence and reasons. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Paragraph 2 - supporting argument: 50%
Topic sentence:
Media like movies have number of plots where in the protagnist is involved in violent activites which ultimaltely reflect their mettlesome nature.
The first sentence of your first body paragraph makes a very weak claim. You can improve your score by making a strong claim in the first sentence of each body paragraph that you can elaborate on with the rest of the paragraph. Here is an example of a topic sentence that makes a strong claim: We need to tax processed food with added sugar to reduce the harm it is causing. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Argue:
You have used two words commonly used in argumentation. That's good. Use one or two more argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 80/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have used a word commonly used when providing support. That's good. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Paragraph 3 - supporting argument: 20%
Topic sentence:
Use of bombastic language in media like songs or videos is also promoting childern to use such vocabularly which sometime may turn into a violent episode.
The first sentence of your first body paragraph contains words that will have an impact on your reader. That's good. You can improve this feature of your essay by strengthening your claim with provocative words.
Here is an example of a topic sentence that makes a strong claim: We need to tax processed food with added sugar to reduce the harm it is causing. Your score for this feature = 80/100
Argue:
You have not used any words commonly used in argumentation. Use argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have not used any words commonly used for providing support. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Paragraph 4 - supporting argument: 55%
Topic sentence:
It is said that children are the mirror of the enviroment they grow up in.
The first sentence of this paragraph contains words that will have an impact on your reader. That's good.
Nevertheless, remember this advice: an effective topic sentence in an argument essay should make a debatable claim that the rest of the paragraph will elaborate on with reasons and examples. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Argue:
You have used a word commonly used in argumentation. That's a good start. However, try to use one or two more argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have used a word commonly used when providing support. That's good. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Paragraph 5 - supporting argument: 15%
Topic sentence:
If the child watches his/her parents or the people in their parental role model engagging in violent episodes, they will pick up these habits because they lookup to them for all kind of habits.
Argue:
You have used a word commonly used in argumentation. That's a good start. However, try to use one or two more argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have not used any words commonly used for providing support. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Paragraph 6 - conclusion: 66%
Reformulation of the thesis:
I would like to conclude this by pointing out that even though the violence in the media is increasing, children's peer groups and role models also have a deep impact on them.
Your reformulated thesis in your conclusion is 14% the same as your thesis statement in your introduction. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Recommendation:
The paragraph contains suggestion words like
No recommendation? I checked your conclusion for advice words to see if you had recommended a course of action to your reader. I was unable to detect any of these words and their conjugations: should, must, have to, has to, ought to, recommend, propose, encourage. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Prediction:
I checked your conclusion for prediction words to see if you had made a prediction. It seems you have. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Vocabulary: 93%
Argument-related words: because, believe, conclude, since, so
Feedback: You have used a variety of words related to argumentation. That's good. Your score for this feature = 80/100
Vocabulary profile:
Feedback: 59% of your essay comprises the most common 1000 words in the language. You possess a very large vocabulary and excellent academic potential. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Academic vocabulary profile: involve, involved, response, role, conclude, consume, impact, normal, instance, reaction, promote, series, expose, incident, automatic, medium
Feedback: 16% of your essay comprises words from the academic word list. You possess a very large academic vocabulary and suggests excellent academic potential. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Language Accuracy: 35%
Number of errors: 27
Feedback: I detected many errors in your writing. Reread your essay carefully and use a spell checker and grammar checker to help you identify and eliminate avoidable errors. Your score for this feature = 35/100
Grammar Check Feedback
You wrote: ...gs, even news contains a higher rate of wordsor actions that are generally aligned with...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: words or
You wrote: ...d with violence. Media like movies have number of plots where in the protagnist is inv...
Feedback: You probably need a past participle here. Try this instead: "have numbed", "have numbered" or "have been numbering", "have been numbing". (pp98)
Suggestion: have numbed, have numbered, have been numbering, have been numbing
You wrote: ...ovies have number of plots where in the protagnist is involved in violent activites which ...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: protagonist
You wrote: ...n the protagnist is involved in violent activites which ultimaltely reflect their mettles...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: activities, activates
You wrote: ... is involved in violent activites which ultimaltely reflect their mettlesome nature. Since ...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: ultimately
You wrote: ...ng population is consuming this type of media on a regulara basis and that too in hig...
Feedback: You need a singular form here. Did you mean "" or "these types of media", "these types of mediums"?
Suggestion: , these types of media, these types of mediums
You wrote: ...on is consuming this type of media on a regulara basis and that too in high quantities, ...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: regular, regulars, regular a
You wrote: ...onse would be to get violently involved wtih the bully to either prove his strength ...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: with, WTH
You wrote: ...lly. However, this reaction can further escalte the situation rather than solving the p...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: escalate
You wrote: ... like songs or videos is also promoting childern to use such vocabularly which sometime ...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: children
You wrote: ... is also promoting childern to use such vocabularly which sometime may turn into a violent ...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: vocabulary
You wrote: ...metime may turn into a violent episode. Even though the person using such language was only...
Feedback: “Even though” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Suggestion:
You wrote: ...turned into something totally different than expected. It is said that children are ...
Feedback: Did you mean 'different "from"'? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
Suggestion: from
You wrote: ...aid that children are the mirror of the enviroment they grow up in. If the child is expose...
Feedback: You have a spelling error. You wrote "enviroment," but you should have spelled it like this: "environment".
Suggestion: environment
You wrote: ...rror of the enviroment they grow up in. If the child is exposed to violent inciden...
Feedback: Where is your comma? There does not seem to be one in this sentence. Separate your if-clause from your result-clause with a comma.
Suggestion:
You wrote: ... violent incidents more than often they mayaccquire this as the normal tendency and start t...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion:
You wrote: ...ith. So, it won't be wrong to aver that childern's peer group have a lasting impact on t...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: children
You wrote: ... a lasting impact on them. For example, Harish and his friends are a group of five fri...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: Parish, Harsh, Garish, Haris
You wrote: ... of five friends. If Rahul is a guy who thends to flex his muscle if he doesn't get wh...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: tends, trends
You wrote: ...doesn't get what he desires, the lesson Harish and his friends can learn is "if you do...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: Parish, Harsh, Garish, Haris
You wrote: ... get what you want, engaging in violent activites is justified". If the child watches his...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: activities, activates
You wrote: ...the people in their parental role model engagging in violent episodes, they will pick up ...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: engaging, en gagging
You wrote: ...models also have a deep impact on them. If the role models or groups have tedency ...
Feedback: Where is your comma? There does not seem to be one in this sentence. Separate your if-clause from your result-clause with a comma.
Suggestion:
You wrote: ...them. If the role models or groups have tedency to involved in these kind of violent in...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: tendency, ted ency
You wrote: ...s or groups have tedency to involved in these kind of violent incidents media is only...
Feedback: The word "kind" is singular, so you cannot use the plural determiner "these". Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
Suggestion: this kind, these kinds
You wrote: ... violent incidents media is only adding fue to the fire by glorifying violence as a...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: due, fuel, fee, fun, fur, cue, foe, fuse, sue, Sue, hue, rue, UE, flue, ghee, fume, FCE, Tue, fie, fum, fut, AUE, BUE, FAE, FBE, FFE, FHE, FIE, FLE, FNE, FUD, FUP, FYE, Fe, GUE, Que, TFUE, fug, Fu, Xue, Yue
You wrote: ... violence as a mean to earn respect and potray strength and courage.
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: portray, pot ray
Paragraph 1 - introduction: 83%
Title:
I could not detect any word with four letters or more in your title that was not capitalized. This tells me that you have capitalized your title correctly. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Opening:
The content we are consuming today in the form of media has increased folds of violence as compared to the earlier times.
I noticed that you started your essay with a surprising statistic to engage the reader's attention. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Context:
I checked your introduction for words and phrases that writers use to establish the importance of their topic. I was unable to find any matches. Establish the importance of your topic with one of these phrases: a vital factor in, the leading cause of, widely considered to be, set to become, undergoing a revolution, is responsible for. There are others. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Thesis:
The movies, web series, songs, even news contains a higher rate of wordsor actions that are generally aligned with violence.
The last sentence uses provocative words that will make an impact on your reader. That's good. Remember that a good thesis statement should express a debatable claim that you can support with evidence and reasons. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Paragraph 2 - supporting argument: 50%
Topic sentence:
Media like movies have number of plots where in the protagnist is involved in violent activites which ultimaltely reflect their mettlesome nature.
The first sentence of your first body paragraph makes a very weak claim. You can improve your score by making a strong claim in the first sentence of each body paragraph that you can elaborate on with the rest of the paragraph. Here is an example of a topic sentence that makes a strong claim: We need to tax processed food with added sugar to reduce the harm it is causing. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Argue:
You have used two words commonly used in argumentation. That's good. Use one or two more argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 80/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have used a word commonly used when providing support. That's good. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Paragraph 3 - supporting argument: 20%
Topic sentence:
Use of bombastic language in media like songs or videos is also promoting childern to use such vocabularly which sometime may turn into a violent episode.
The first sentence of your first body paragraph contains words that will have an impact on your reader. That's good. You can improve this feature of your essay by strengthening your claim with provocative words.
Here is an example of a topic sentence that makes a strong claim: We need to tax processed food with added sugar to reduce the harm it is causing. Your score for this feature = 80/100
Argue:
You have not used any words commonly used in argumentation. Use argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have not used any words commonly used for providing support. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Paragraph 4 - supporting argument: 55%
Topic sentence:
It is said that children are the mirror of the enviroment they grow up in.
The first sentence of this paragraph contains words that will have an impact on your reader. That's good.
Nevertheless, remember this advice: an effective topic sentence in an argument essay should make a debatable claim that the rest of the paragraph will elaborate on with reasons and examples. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Argue:
You have used a word commonly used in argumentation. That's a good start. However, try to use one or two more argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have used a word commonly used when providing support. That's good. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Paragraph 5 - supporting argument: 15%
Topic sentence:
If the child watches his/her parents or the people in their parental role model engagging in violent episodes, they will pick up these habits because they lookup to them for all kind of habits.
Argue:
You have used a word commonly used in argumentation. That's a good start. However, try to use one or two more argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have not used any words commonly used for providing support. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Paragraph 6 - conclusion: 66%
Reformulation of the thesis:
I would like to conclude this by pointing out that even though the violence in the media is increasing, children's peer groups and role models also have a deep impact on them.
Your reformulated thesis in your conclusion is 14% the same as your thesis statement in your introduction. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Recommendation:
The paragraph contains suggestion words like
No recommendation? I checked your conclusion for advice words to see if you had recommended a course of action to your reader. I was unable to detect any of these words and their conjugations: should, must, have to, has to, ought to, recommend, propose, encourage. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Prediction:
I checked your conclusion for prediction words to see if you had made a prediction. It seems you have. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Vocabulary: 93%
Argument-related words: because, believe, conclude, since, so
Feedback: You have used a variety of words related to argumentation. That's good. Your score for this feature = 80/100
Vocabulary profile:
Feedback: 59% of your essay comprises the most common 1000 words in the language. You possess a very large vocabulary and excellent academic potential. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Academic vocabulary profile: involve, involved, response, role, conclude, consume, impact, normal, instance, reaction, promote, series, expose, incident, automatic, medium
Feedback: 16% of your essay comprises words from the academic word list. You possess a very large academic vocabulary and suggests excellent academic potential. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Language Accuracy: 35%
Number of errors: 27
Feedback: I detected many errors in your writing. Reread your essay carefully and use a spell checker and grammar checker to help you identify and eliminate avoidable errors. Your score for this feature = 35/100
Grammar Check Feedback
You wrote: ...gs, even news contains a higher rate of wordsor actions that are generally aligned with...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: words or
You wrote: ...d with violence. Media like movies have number of plots where in the protagnist is inv...
Feedback: You probably need a past participle here. Try this instead: "have numbed", "have numbered" or "have been numbering", "have been numbing". (pp98)
Suggestion: have numbed, have numbered, have been numbering, have been numbing
You wrote: ...ovies have number of plots where in the protagnist is involved in violent activites which ...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: protagonist
You wrote: ...n the protagnist is involved in violent activites which ultimaltely reflect their mettles...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: activities, activates
You wrote: ... is involved in violent activites which ultimaltely reflect their mettlesome nature. Since ...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: ultimately
You wrote: ...ng population is consuming this type of media on a regulara basis and that too in hig...
Feedback: You need a singular form here. Did you mean "" or "these types of media", "these types of mediums"?
Suggestion: , these types of media, these types of mediums
You wrote: ...on is consuming this type of media on a regulara basis and that too in high quantities, ...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: regular, regulars, regular a
You wrote: ...onse would be to get violently involved wtih the bully to either prove his strength ...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: with, WTH
You wrote: ...lly. However, this reaction can further escalte the situation rather than solving the p...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: escalate
You wrote: ... like songs or videos is also promoting childern to use such vocabularly which sometime ...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: children
You wrote: ... is also promoting childern to use such vocabularly which sometime may turn into a violent ...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: vocabulary
You wrote: ...metime may turn into a violent episode. Even though the person using such language was only...
Feedback: “Even though” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Suggestion:
You wrote: ...turned into something totally different than expected. It is said that children are ...
Feedback: Did you mean 'different "from"'? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
Suggestion: from
You wrote: ...aid that children are the mirror of the enviroment they grow up in. If the child is expose...
Feedback: You have a spelling error. You wrote "enviroment," but you should have spelled it like this: "environment".
Suggestion: environment
You wrote: ...rror of the enviroment they grow up in. If the child is exposed to violent inciden...
Feedback: Where is your comma? There does not seem to be one in this sentence. Separate your if-clause from your result-clause with a comma.
Suggestion:
You wrote: ... violent incidents more than often they mayaccquire this as the normal tendency and start t...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion:
You wrote: ...ith. So, it won't be wrong to aver that childern's peer group have a lasting impact on t...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: children
You wrote: ... a lasting impact on them. For example, Harish and his friends are a group of five fri...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: Parish, Harsh, Garish, Haris
You wrote: ... of five friends. If Rahul is a guy who thends to flex his muscle if he doesn't get wh...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: tends, trends
You wrote: ...doesn't get what he desires, the lesson Harish and his friends can learn is "if you do...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: Parish, Harsh, Garish, Haris
You wrote: ... get what you want, engaging in violent activites is justified". If the child watches his...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: activities, activates
You wrote: ...the people in their parental role model engagging in violent episodes, they will pick up ...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: engaging, en gagging
You wrote: ...models also have a deep impact on them. If the role models or groups have tedency ...
Feedback: Where is your comma? There does not seem to be one in this sentence. Separate your if-clause from your result-clause with a comma.
Suggestion:
You wrote: ...them. If the role models or groups have tedency to involved in these kind of violent in...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: tendency, ted ency
You wrote: ...s or groups have tedency to involved in these kind of violent incidents media is only...
Feedback: The word "kind" is singular, so you cannot use the plural determiner "these". Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
Suggestion: this kind, these kinds
You wrote: ... violent incidents media is only adding fue to the fire by glorifying violence as a...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: due, fuel, fee, fun, fur, cue, foe, fuse, sue, Sue, hue, rue, UE, flue, ghee, fume, FCE, Tue, fie, fum, fut, AUE, BUE, FAE, FBE, FFE, FHE, FIE, FLE, FNE, FUD, FUP, FYE, Fe, GUE, Que, TFUE, fug, Fu, Xue, Yue
You wrote: ... violence as a mean to earn respect and potray strength and courage.
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: portray, pot ray
Re: please rate my analytical writting essays
[#permalink]
04 Feb 2023, 08:50
04 Feb 2023, 08:50
1
Expert Reply
Writing quantity
1. You have written 376 words.
2. I count a total of 7 paragraphs.
3. You have written 12 sentences.
4. You have written 0 question.
Essay structure and content: 22%
Paragraph 1 - introduction: 22%
Opening:
Author says that unemployment in their area is a serious problem, and suggests that if the City Council authorizes a large campaign to attract the company and offer tax incentives to the firm would make the town an attractive option for the company to set up its new automobile manufacturing plant.
I was expecting to find a question mark at the end of the first sentence of your introduction. There wasn't one. Remember to start your essay with a question to engage your reader's attention. Try questions like these: Have you ever seen...? or Did you know that...? Your score for this feature = 0/100
I detected one or more errors in your first sentence. That's not good. Your reader will begin reading your essay and immediately get a bad impression of your writing. Avoid scaring your reader off by checking your writing for errors. (If the system generates a false alarm, you can send an email to the contact us page with the sentence and I will fix it for you.) Your score for this feature = 0/100
Context:
I checked your introduction for words and phrases that writers use to establish the importance of their topic. I was unable to find any matches. Establish the importance of your topic with one of these phrases: a vital factor in, the leading cause of, widely considered to be, set to become, undergoing a revolution, is responsible for. Your score for this feature = 0/100
You have chosen food tax as your topic, but your introduction only contains one food-tax-related word. Use more for a higher score. Here are some words I expected to encounter in a discussion on this topic: diabetes, fast food, fats, food additives, food culture, healthcare, healthier choice, heart disease, obesity, overweight, processed food, sugar, tax, weight gain. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Thesis:
Author says that unemployment in their area is a serious problem, and suggests that if the City Council authorizes a large campaign to attract the company and offer tax incentives to the firm would make the town an attractive option for the company to set up its new automobile manufacturing plant.
Remember that a good thesis statement should express a succinct debatable claim with supporting reasons that you can develop with evidence.
Here is an example of a debatable thesis statement that makes a strong claim: We desperately need an added-sugar tax in this country because taxing sugar will cut sales of unhealthy food and because the tax money we collect can pay to treat the diseases caused by added sugar.
Here is an example of a thesis statement related to internet censorship: Clearly, the internet must remain free because censorship kills free markets and threatens to destroy our democratic system.
Here is an example of a thesis statement related to animal rights: Every animal deserves rights because they feel and have intrinsic value.
Here is an example of a thesis statement related to abortion: Every woman should have access to safe abortions because women deserve control over their bodies and because not all women have the financial resources to bring a pregnancy to term.
Your score for this feature = 50/100
Paragraph 2 - first supporting argument: 32%
Topic sentence:
As there are lot of arguments made by the author in order to convince the City Council.
The first sentence of this paragraph has characteristics of a good topic sentence. That's good.
Nevertheless, remember this advice: an effective topic sentence in an argument essay should make one debatable claim that will catch your reader's attention and that the rest of the paragraph will elaborate on with reasons and examples. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Argue:
You have used a word commonly used in argumentation. That's a good start. However, try to use one or two more argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's not good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Cite sources:
You have not included an in-text citation, as far as I can tell. I was expecting to find a capitalized name (Walker) or year (2019) in parentheses in your first body paragraph. Scholars must use and cite information from reliable sources. Speak to your teacher or review the lesson in your textbook about how to cite sources within your paragraph. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have not used any words commonly used for providing support. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Paragraph 3 - second supporting argument: 20%
Topic sentence:
Firstly, the arugment bythe auhtor says nothing about the requirements.
The first sentence of this second body paragraph has characteristics of a strong topic sentence. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Argue:
You have not used any words commonly used in argumentation. Use argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's not good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Cite sources:
You have not included an in-text citation, as far as I can tell. I was expecting to find a capitalized name (Walker) or year (2019) in parentheses in your second body paragraph. Scholars must use and cite information from reliable sources. Speak to your teacher or review the lesson in your textbook about how to cite sources within your paragraph. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have not used any words commonly used for providing support. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Paragraph 4 - counterargument: 16%
Topic sentence:
Secondly, the author assumes that the population of the town posses the sill set required by the company in order to be eligible to complete the job effienctly.
The first sentence of this paragraph has characteristics of a good topic sentence. To improve your score, make a stronger claim that you can elaborate on with the rest of the paragraph.
For example, you could write something like this: Some people claim that a tax on food additives will hurt the poorest segment of society the most by making food more expensive.
Here is another example: Some people say that we need censorship to control the spread of fake news.
Your score for this feature = 80/100
Counter argue:
You have not introduced an opposing view using a commonly used phrase for reporting counterarguments. Improve your score by using a phrase from among these examples: some people claim, some people say, some believe, others believe, people object to, try to refute, discount, reject, it is often argued that, the opposing view, the opposing side. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Concede:
You have not used any phrases for conceding a point to opposing side. Being able to acknowledge and concede that there is apparent merit in the opposing view, you show your reader that you are fair-minded and reasonable. Here are some phrases you can use to concede: granted, it is true that, while it is true that, naturally, indeed, to be sure, admittedly, certainly, of course, one cannot deny that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Refute:
You have not used any words or phrases to refute the opposing argument. You must mount an effect rebuttal. Here are some phrases you can use in your refutation of the counterargument: that being said, that said, however, nonetheless, nevertheless, on the contrary, on the other hand, regardless, whereas, although, and yet, in contrast, despite, countervailing evidence suggests. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Cite sources:
You have not included a citation. That's not good. It is important to indicate your sources. Speak to your teacher or review the lesson in your textbook about citing sources to improve your score. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Vocabulary: 30%
Argument-related words: arguments, conclusion
Feedback: You have used very few words related to argumentation. When you argue for your point of view, use vocabulary related argumentation. Here are some examples: argument, antithesis, believe, by analogy, claim, conclude, counterargument, evidence, facts, false, falsehood, given that, hence, implication, it follows that, logic, logical, may conclude, opinion, opinions, points of view, posit, proof, relevance, relevant, research, statistics, therefore, thus, on the whole. Your score for this feature = 40/100
Topic-related words: tax
Feedback: You have used 1 or 2 controversy-related words in your essay. That's a start. Your score for this feature = 20/100
Works Cited Section: 0%
Language Accuracy: 35%
Number of errors: 20
Feedback: I detected many errors in your writing. Reread your essay carefully and use a spell checker and grammar checker to help you identify and eliminate avoidable errors. Your score for this feature = 35/100
Grammar Check Feedback
You wrote: Author says that unemployment in their area is...
Feedback: -- You either need an article with "Author" or a plural form.
Suggestion: an author saith, an author says, authors say
You wrote: ...its new automobile manufacturing plant. As there are lot of arguments made by the ...
Feedback: "As" at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Suggestion:
You wrote: ...obile manufacturing plant. As there are lot of arguments made by the author in orde...
Feedback: An article is missing before this countable noun. Use a plural form "lots" or add an article to the singular form. "a lot", "the lot".
Suggestion: lots, a lot, the lot
You wrote: ...to convince the City Council. There are number of assumptions made by the author which...
Feedback: You either need an indefinite article before your countable noun. Did you mean "a number of assumptions"?
Suggestion: a number of assumptions
You wrote: ... made by the author which enervates the argunents put forward by the author. Firstly, the...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: arguments
You wrote: ...put forward by the author. Firstly, the arugment bythe auhtor says nothing about the req...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: argument, augment
You wrote: ...rd by the author. Firstly, the arugment bythe auhtor says nothing about the requireme...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: byte, bathe, Blythe, Bethe, by the
You wrote: ...the author. Firstly, the arugment bythe auhtor says nothing about the requirements. Au...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: author
You wrote: ... nothing about the requirements. Author assumens that by giving the company significant ...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: assumes
You wrote: ...by the town due to logistics or lack of infracstructure. If in this condition the City Council ...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: infrastructure
You wrote: ... to logistics or lack of infracstructure. If in this condition the City Council i...
Feedback: Put an question mark at the end of sentences asking "What if?" Revise: "What if [...]?".
Suggestion: What if [...]?
You wrote: ...y may end up using the funds that could hve been used to genetrate some jobs. Secon...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: have, he, Eve, eve, hive, hue, HSE, HVO, hove, ave, AVE, Ave, BVE, CVE, HAE, HDE, HNE, HOE, HPE, HQE, HVG, He, MVE, SVE, VE, hie, hoe, ve, h ve, Hae, Hee, Hye, Ove
You wrote: ...g the funds that could hve been used to genetrate some jobs. Secondly, the author assumes...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: generate, penetrate
You wrote: ...rder to be eligible to complete the job effienctly. Thirdly, the author also assumens that...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: efficiently
You wrote: ...ob effienctly. Thirdly, the author also assumens that the company will give employement ...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: assumes
You wrote: ...lso assumens that the company will give employement to a high number of people from the tow...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: employment
You wrote: ... the town and won't transfer it already existing employees form different plants in orde...
Feedback: You are missing the auxiliary "is" before your adverb "already".
Suggestion: it is already existing
You wrote: ...y resulting in polluting the water body butalso effecting the enviromnent around it. Th...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: but also
You wrote: ...ng the water body butalso effecting the enviromnent around it. The plant may contribute to ...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: environment
You wrote: ...t forward by the author in front of the Citry Counil for making the town an attractiv...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: City, Ci try
1. You have written 376 words.
2. I count a total of 7 paragraphs.
3. You have written 12 sentences.
4. You have written 0 question.
Essay structure and content: 22%
Paragraph 1 - introduction: 22%
Opening:
Author says that unemployment in their area is a serious problem, and suggests that if the City Council authorizes a large campaign to attract the company and offer tax incentives to the firm would make the town an attractive option for the company to set up its new automobile manufacturing plant.
I was expecting to find a question mark at the end of the first sentence of your introduction. There wasn't one. Remember to start your essay with a question to engage your reader's attention. Try questions like these: Have you ever seen...? or Did you know that...? Your score for this feature = 0/100
I detected one or more errors in your first sentence. That's not good. Your reader will begin reading your essay and immediately get a bad impression of your writing. Avoid scaring your reader off by checking your writing for errors. (If the system generates a false alarm, you can send an email to the contact us page with the sentence and I will fix it for you.) Your score for this feature = 0/100
Context:
I checked your introduction for words and phrases that writers use to establish the importance of their topic. I was unable to find any matches. Establish the importance of your topic with one of these phrases: a vital factor in, the leading cause of, widely considered to be, set to become, undergoing a revolution, is responsible for. Your score for this feature = 0/100
You have chosen food tax as your topic, but your introduction only contains one food-tax-related word. Use more for a higher score. Here are some words I expected to encounter in a discussion on this topic: diabetes, fast food, fats, food additives, food culture, healthcare, healthier choice, heart disease, obesity, overweight, processed food, sugar, tax, weight gain. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Thesis:
Author says that unemployment in their area is a serious problem, and suggests that if the City Council authorizes a large campaign to attract the company and offer tax incentives to the firm would make the town an attractive option for the company to set up its new automobile manufacturing plant.
Remember that a good thesis statement should express a succinct debatable claim with supporting reasons that you can develop with evidence.
Here is an example of a debatable thesis statement that makes a strong claim: We desperately need an added-sugar tax in this country because taxing sugar will cut sales of unhealthy food and because the tax money we collect can pay to treat the diseases caused by added sugar.
Here is an example of a thesis statement related to internet censorship: Clearly, the internet must remain free because censorship kills free markets and threatens to destroy our democratic system.
Here is an example of a thesis statement related to animal rights: Every animal deserves rights because they feel and have intrinsic value.
Here is an example of a thesis statement related to abortion: Every woman should have access to safe abortions because women deserve control over their bodies and because not all women have the financial resources to bring a pregnancy to term.
Your score for this feature = 50/100
Paragraph 2 - first supporting argument: 32%
Topic sentence:
As there are lot of arguments made by the author in order to convince the City Council.
The first sentence of this paragraph has characteristics of a good topic sentence. That's good.
Nevertheless, remember this advice: an effective topic sentence in an argument essay should make one debatable claim that will catch your reader's attention and that the rest of the paragraph will elaborate on with reasons and examples. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Argue:
You have used a word commonly used in argumentation. That's a good start. However, try to use one or two more argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's not good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Cite sources:
You have not included an in-text citation, as far as I can tell. I was expecting to find a capitalized name (Walker) or year (2019) in parentheses in your first body paragraph. Scholars must use and cite information from reliable sources. Speak to your teacher or review the lesson in your textbook about how to cite sources within your paragraph. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have not used any words commonly used for providing support. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Paragraph 3 - second supporting argument: 20%
Topic sentence:
Firstly, the arugment bythe auhtor says nothing about the requirements.
The first sentence of this second body paragraph has characteristics of a strong topic sentence. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Argue:
You have not used any words commonly used in argumentation. Use argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's not good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Cite sources:
You have not included an in-text citation, as far as I can tell. I was expecting to find a capitalized name (Walker) or year (2019) in parentheses in your second body paragraph. Scholars must use and cite information from reliable sources. Speak to your teacher or review the lesson in your textbook about how to cite sources within your paragraph. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have not used any words commonly used for providing support. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Paragraph 4 - counterargument: 16%
Topic sentence:
Secondly, the author assumes that the population of the town posses the sill set required by the company in order to be eligible to complete the job effienctly.
The first sentence of this paragraph has characteristics of a good topic sentence. To improve your score, make a stronger claim that you can elaborate on with the rest of the paragraph.
For example, you could write something like this: Some people claim that a tax on food additives will hurt the poorest segment of society the most by making food more expensive.
Here is another example: Some people say that we need censorship to control the spread of fake news.
Your score for this feature = 80/100
Counter argue:
You have not introduced an opposing view using a commonly used phrase for reporting counterarguments. Improve your score by using a phrase from among these examples: some people claim, some people say, some believe, others believe, people object to, try to refute, discount, reject, it is often argued that, the opposing view, the opposing side. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Concede:
You have not used any phrases for conceding a point to opposing side. Being able to acknowledge and concede that there is apparent merit in the opposing view, you show your reader that you are fair-minded and reasonable. Here are some phrases you can use to concede: granted, it is true that, while it is true that, naturally, indeed, to be sure, admittedly, certainly, of course, one cannot deny that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Refute:
You have not used any words or phrases to refute the opposing argument. You must mount an effect rebuttal. Here are some phrases you can use in your refutation of the counterargument: that being said, that said, however, nonetheless, nevertheless, on the contrary, on the other hand, regardless, whereas, although, and yet, in contrast, despite, countervailing evidence suggests. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Cite sources:
You have not included a citation. That's not good. It is important to indicate your sources. Speak to your teacher or review the lesson in your textbook about citing sources to improve your score. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Vocabulary: 30%
Argument-related words: arguments, conclusion
Feedback: You have used very few words related to argumentation. When you argue for your point of view, use vocabulary related argumentation. Here are some examples: argument, antithesis, believe, by analogy, claim, conclude, counterargument, evidence, facts, false, falsehood, given that, hence, implication, it follows that, logic, logical, may conclude, opinion, opinions, points of view, posit, proof, relevance, relevant, research, statistics, therefore, thus, on the whole. Your score for this feature = 40/100
Topic-related words: tax
Feedback: You have used 1 or 2 controversy-related words in your essay. That's a start. Your score for this feature = 20/100
Works Cited Section: 0%
Language Accuracy: 35%
Number of errors: 20
Feedback: I detected many errors in your writing. Reread your essay carefully and use a spell checker and grammar checker to help you identify and eliminate avoidable errors. Your score for this feature = 35/100
Grammar Check Feedback
You wrote: Author says that unemployment in their area is...
Feedback: -- You either need an article with "Author" or a plural form.
Suggestion: an author saith, an author says, authors say
You wrote: ...its new automobile manufacturing plant. As there are lot of arguments made by the ...
Feedback: "As" at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Suggestion:
You wrote: ...obile manufacturing plant. As there are lot of arguments made by the author in orde...
Feedback: An article is missing before this countable noun. Use a plural form "lots" or add an article to the singular form. "a lot", "the lot".
Suggestion: lots, a lot, the lot
You wrote: ...to convince the City Council. There are number of assumptions made by the author which...
Feedback: You either need an indefinite article before your countable noun. Did you mean "a number of assumptions"?
Suggestion: a number of assumptions
You wrote: ... made by the author which enervates the argunents put forward by the author. Firstly, the...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: arguments
You wrote: ...put forward by the author. Firstly, the arugment bythe auhtor says nothing about the req...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: argument, augment
You wrote: ...rd by the author. Firstly, the arugment bythe auhtor says nothing about the requireme...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: byte, bathe, Blythe, Bethe, by the
You wrote: ...the author. Firstly, the arugment bythe auhtor says nothing about the requirements. Au...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: author
You wrote: ... nothing about the requirements. Author assumens that by giving the company significant ...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: assumes
You wrote: ...by the town due to logistics or lack of infracstructure. If in this condition the City Council ...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: infrastructure
You wrote: ... to logistics or lack of infracstructure. If in this condition the City Council i...
Feedback: Put an question mark at the end of sentences asking "What if?" Revise: "What if [...]?".
Suggestion: What if [...]?
You wrote: ...y may end up using the funds that could hve been used to genetrate some jobs. Secon...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: have, he, Eve, eve, hive, hue, HSE, HVO, hove, ave, AVE, Ave, BVE, CVE, HAE, HDE, HNE, HOE, HPE, HQE, HVG, He, MVE, SVE, VE, hie, hoe, ve, h ve, Hae, Hee, Hye, Ove
You wrote: ...g the funds that could hve been used to genetrate some jobs. Secondly, the author assumes...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: generate, penetrate
You wrote: ...rder to be eligible to complete the job effienctly. Thirdly, the author also assumens that...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: efficiently
You wrote: ...ob effienctly. Thirdly, the author also assumens that the company will give employement ...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: assumes
You wrote: ...lso assumens that the company will give employement to a high number of people from the tow...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: employment
You wrote: ... the town and won't transfer it already existing employees form different plants in orde...
Feedback: You are missing the auxiliary "is" before your adverb "already".
Suggestion: it is already existing
You wrote: ...y resulting in polluting the water body butalso effecting the enviromnent around it. Th...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: but also
You wrote: ...ng the water body butalso effecting the enviromnent around it. The plant may contribute to ...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: environment
You wrote: ...t forward by the author in front of the Citry Counil for making the town an attractiv...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: City, Ci try
