GRE Prep Club Daily Prep
Thank you for using the timer - this advanced tool can estimate your performance and suggest more practice questions. We have subscribed you to Daily Prep Questions via email.
Customized
for You
Track
Your Progress
Practice
Pays
Not interested in getting valuable practice questions and articles delivered to your email? No problem, unsubscribe here.
Please Rate my Essay
[#permalink]
22 Oct 2023, 06:46
22 Oct 2023, 06:46
Issue Prompt: Some people believe that corporations have a responsibility to promote the well-being of the societies and environments in which they operate. Others believe that the only responsibility of corporations, provided they operate within the law, is to make as much money as possible.
Response
Given the increasing inter relatedness of the corporate world and the public world, it has become increasingly clear that organizations can severely impact the world for good and ill. One only needs to look outside the window to see the work that corporations have done ranging from the destruction of the environment to affecting the lives of the individuals under their care. I strongly believe that organizations should have a responsibility to promote the well-being of the societies and environments in which they operate for three key reasons.
First, corporations left to focus on profitability as their sole driving factor can lead to perverse effects within society. For example, Nestle, a fast moving consumer goods company, was steeped in controversy when they exploited the natural water resources of a town to sell bottled water back to the community and the rest of area at a premium. Their focus on profitability led them to performing morally bad but legally justified actions that led to the degradation of the water supply and impeded the local community’s access to their own water supply. When corporations focus on profitability, they tend to do everything under the sun as long as they can legally get away with it. In a world where they have the responsibility towards the community, the more likely they would think more thoroughly of the consequences of their actions on other stakeholders aside from themselves. Sometimes, expecting the bare minimums from these corporations is not enough and we should expect them to act further and beyond to ensure that they do not lead to negative effects in the environment and community.
Second, corporations that take on the responsibility to promote the well-being of the communities ensure that there are positive externalities that lead to further outcomes for the communities that they operate in. For example, if Nestle were to have been more responsible and cognizant of the impact of the project towards the community, they could have ensured that the water resources are not exploited and the community is properly compensated for providing Nestle access to their resources. This ensures that the community can see improvements in their lives. The community is likely to see that they have access to the resources and improvements in their communities.
Third, the community and environment are one of the key reasons for the business success of the companies so there should be an expected duty to them in the same if not greater vein than the company’s fiduciary duty to stakeholders. In any company, there is an established link between the investors and the company because there is an allocation of funds for the business. In the same way, the environment and the community provide raw resources – whether in the form of manpower or materials, that are necessary for the corporation to function. Without the community and the environment, the corporation is worth nothing because there are neither resources and customers. It is clear that a responsibility exists because there is an existing give and take relationship between the companies and the communities / environments that they operate it.
While others will claim that corporations should only focus on making as much money as possible because they are not charities as long as they follow the law, the corporations are unlikely to generate sustainable and greater profit if they end up damaging the communities and environments that they operate in. Today, it is clear that bare minimums are not enough, and we should expect more from the corporations.
Response
Given the increasing inter relatedness of the corporate world and the public world, it has become increasingly clear that organizations can severely impact the world for good and ill. One only needs to look outside the window to see the work that corporations have done ranging from the destruction of the environment to affecting the lives of the individuals under their care. I strongly believe that organizations should have a responsibility to promote the well-being of the societies and environments in which they operate for three key reasons.
First, corporations left to focus on profitability as their sole driving factor can lead to perverse effects within society. For example, Nestle, a fast moving consumer goods company, was steeped in controversy when they exploited the natural water resources of a town to sell bottled water back to the community and the rest of area at a premium. Their focus on profitability led them to performing morally bad but legally justified actions that led to the degradation of the water supply and impeded the local community’s access to their own water supply. When corporations focus on profitability, they tend to do everything under the sun as long as they can legally get away with it. In a world where they have the responsibility towards the community, the more likely they would think more thoroughly of the consequences of their actions on other stakeholders aside from themselves. Sometimes, expecting the bare minimums from these corporations is not enough and we should expect them to act further and beyond to ensure that they do not lead to negative effects in the environment and community.
Second, corporations that take on the responsibility to promote the well-being of the communities ensure that there are positive externalities that lead to further outcomes for the communities that they operate in. For example, if Nestle were to have been more responsible and cognizant of the impact of the project towards the community, they could have ensured that the water resources are not exploited and the community is properly compensated for providing Nestle access to their resources. This ensures that the community can see improvements in their lives. The community is likely to see that they have access to the resources and improvements in their communities.
Third, the community and environment are one of the key reasons for the business success of the companies so there should be an expected duty to them in the same if not greater vein than the company’s fiduciary duty to stakeholders. In any company, there is an established link between the investors and the company because there is an allocation of funds for the business. In the same way, the environment and the community provide raw resources – whether in the form of manpower or materials, that are necessary for the corporation to function. Without the community and the environment, the corporation is worth nothing because there are neither resources and customers. It is clear that a responsibility exists because there is an existing give and take relationship between the companies and the communities / environments that they operate it.
While others will claim that corporations should only focus on making as much money as possible because they are not charities as long as they follow the law, the corporations are unlikely to generate sustainable and greater profit if they end up damaging the communities and environments that they operate in. Today, it is clear that bare minimums are not enough, and we should expect more from the corporations.
Re: Please Rate my Essay
[#permalink]
27 Oct 2023, 11:09
27 Oct 2023, 11:09
Expert Reply
Assignment Score: 66.75
Statistics
1. You have written 585 words.
2. I count a total of 5 paragraphs.
3. You have written 20 sentences.
4. Your average sentence length is 29.25.
5. You have written 0 question.
6. You have used 1 first-person pronoun (I, me, my, mine).
Writing quality: 50%
Cohesion:
You have not used very many transition words (2-3) and cohesion devices in your essay to help your reader understand the relationship between your ideas. Add more transition words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of transitions that you can use are as follows: along the same lines, because of this, as an example, as an illustration, take the case of, to illustrate, as a matter of fact, there is no question that, without a doubt. Your score for this feature = 40/100
Dynamism:
Your writing style is quite dynamic. You write a variety of short sentences and long sentences. Increase the variance in your sentence length to increase your score. Your score for this feature = 80/100
Provocativeness:
Your essay contains very few words that will provoke an emotional reaction in your reader. Provocative words help to engage and sustain your reader's attention. Add more to increase your score. Here are some examples of words that provoke an emotional reaction in readers: awe-inspiring, brutal, children, danger, explode, fear, gorgeous, hoax, invasion... Your score for this feature = 40/100
Cliches:
Avoid using cliches. They make your writing seem empty and tiresome. Your penalty for this feature = -10
Exclamation marks:
I did not detect any exclamation marks in your writing. No penalty was applied.
Essay structure and content: 54%
Paragraph 1 - introduction: 83%
Title:
I could not detect any word with four letters or more in your title that was not capitalized. This tells me that you have capitalized your title correctly. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Opening:
Given the increasing inter relatedness of the corporate world and the public world, it has become increasingly clear that organizations can severely impact the world for good and ill.
I noticed that you started your essay with a short anecdote or narrative to spark interest in your topic. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Context:
I checked your introduction for words and phrases that writers use to establish the importance of their topic. I was unable to find any matches. Establish the importance of your topic with one of these phrases: a vital factor in, the leading cause of, widely considered to be, set to become, undergoing a revolution, is responsible for. There are others. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Thesis:
I strongly believe that organizations should have a responsibility to promote the well-being of the societies and environments in which they operate for three key reasons.
The last sentence uses provocative words that will make an impact on your reader. That's good. Remember that a good thesis statement should express a debatable claim that you can support with evidence and reasons. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Paragraph 2 - supporting argument: 40%
Topic sentence:
First, corporations left to focus on profitability as their sole driving factor can lead to perverse effects within society.
The first sentence of this paragraph contains words that will have an impact on your reader. That's good.
Nevertheless, remember this advice: an effective topic sentence in an argument essay should make a debatable claim that the rest of the paragraph will elaborate on with reasons and examples. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Argue:
You have not used any words commonly used in argumentation. Use argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have used a word commonly used when providing support. That's good. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Paragraph 3 - supporting argument: 15%
Topic sentence:
Second, corporations that take on the responsibility to promote the well-being of the communities ensure that there are positive externalities that lead to further outcomes for the communities that they operate in.
The first sentence of your first body paragraph makes no claim. You can improve your score by making a strong claim in the first sentence of each body paragraph that you can elaborate on with the rest of the paragraph. Here is an example of a topic sentence that makes a strong claim: We need to tax processed food with added sugar to reduce the harm it is causing. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Argue:
You have not used any words commonly used in argumentation. Use argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have used a word commonly used when providing support. That's good. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Paragraph 4 - supporting argument: 40%
Topic sentence:
Third, the community and environment are one of the key reasons for the business success of the companies so there should be an expected duty to them in the same if not greater vein than the company’s fiduciary duty to stakeholders.
The first sentence of your first body paragraph makes a very weak claim. You can improve your score by making a strong claim in the first sentence of each body paragraph that you can elaborate on with the rest of the paragraph. Here is an example of a topic sentence that makes a strong claim: We need to tax processed food with added sugar to reduce the harm it is causing. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Argue:
You have used multiple words commonly used in argumentation. That's excellent. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have not used any words commonly used for providing support. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Paragraph 5 - conclusion: 100%
Reformulation of the thesis:
While others will claim that corporations should only focus on making as much money as possible because they are not charities as long as they follow the law, the corporations are unlikely to generate sustainable and greater profit if they end up damaging the communities and environments that they operate in.
Your reformulated thesis in your conclusion is 11% the same as your thesis statement in your introduction. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Recommendation:
The paragraph contains suggestion words like should
You made a recommendation. That's good. It is a good practice in an essay of this type to recommend a course of action to your reader. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Prediction:
I checked your conclusion for prediction words to see if you had made a prediction. It seems you have. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Vocabulary: 93%
Argument-related words: because, believe, claim, it is clear, reasons, so
Feedback: You have used a variety of words related to argumentation. That's good. Your score for this feature = 80/100
Vocabulary profile:
Feedback: 52% of your essay comprises the most common 1000 words in the language. You possess a very large vocabulary and excellent academic potential. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Academic vocabulary profile: area, environment, establish, factor, function, individual, affect, community, consequence, consumer, focus, impact, investor, positive, range, resource, compensate, corporate, corporation, ensure, fund, justify, link, negative, outcome, access, project, promote, externality, generate, sustainable, allocation, minimum, sole, exploit, controversy
Feedback: 36% of your essay comprises words from the academic word list. You possess a very large academic vocabulary and suggests excellent academic potential. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Language Accuracy: 70%
Number of errors: 5
Feedback: I detected a significant number of errors in your writing. Do your best to eliminate any avoidable errors in your writing by rereading your essay carefully and by using a spell checker and grammar checker. Your score for this feature = 70/100
Grammar Check Feedback
You wrote: ... to see the work that corporations have done ranging from the destruction of the env...
Feedback: The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "gone ranging".
Suggestion: gone ranging
You wrote: ...s from these corporations is not enough and we should expect them to act further an...
Feedback: Use a comma before "and" between two independent clauses.
Suggestion: , and
You wrote: ...d expect them to act further and beyond to ensure that they do not lead to negative effec...
Feedback: **You cannot use an infinitive form after a preposition. Use a gerund instead. Did you mean "and beyond ensuring"?
Suggestion: and beyond ensuring
You wrote: ...munities ensure that there are positive externalities that lead to further outcomes for the c...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: externalizes, externalises
You wrote: ... way, the environment and the community provide raw resources – whether in the form of ...
Feedback: You have a problem with your verb agreement. The singular noun phrase "the community" must be used with a third-person verb "provides" or a past tense verb "provided". (VBE)
Statistics
1. You have written 585 words.
2. I count a total of 5 paragraphs.
3. You have written 20 sentences.
4. Your average sentence length is 29.25.
5. You have written 0 question.
6. You have used 1 first-person pronoun (I, me, my, mine).
Writing quality: 50%
Cohesion:
You have not used very many transition words (2-3) and cohesion devices in your essay to help your reader understand the relationship between your ideas. Add more transition words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of transitions that you can use are as follows: along the same lines, because of this, as an example, as an illustration, take the case of, to illustrate, as a matter of fact, there is no question that, without a doubt. Your score for this feature = 40/100
Dynamism:
Your writing style is quite dynamic. You write a variety of short sentences and long sentences. Increase the variance in your sentence length to increase your score. Your score for this feature = 80/100
Provocativeness:
Your essay contains very few words that will provoke an emotional reaction in your reader. Provocative words help to engage and sustain your reader's attention. Add more to increase your score. Here are some examples of words that provoke an emotional reaction in readers: awe-inspiring, brutal, children, danger, explode, fear, gorgeous, hoax, invasion... Your score for this feature = 40/100
Cliches:
Avoid using cliches. They make your writing seem empty and tiresome. Your penalty for this feature = -10
Exclamation marks:
I did not detect any exclamation marks in your writing. No penalty was applied.
Essay structure and content: 54%
Paragraph 1 - introduction: 83%
Title:
I could not detect any word with four letters or more in your title that was not capitalized. This tells me that you have capitalized your title correctly. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Opening:
Given the increasing inter relatedness of the corporate world and the public world, it has become increasingly clear that organizations can severely impact the world for good and ill.
I noticed that you started your essay with a short anecdote or narrative to spark interest in your topic. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Context:
I checked your introduction for words and phrases that writers use to establish the importance of their topic. I was unable to find any matches. Establish the importance of your topic with one of these phrases: a vital factor in, the leading cause of, widely considered to be, set to become, undergoing a revolution, is responsible for. There are others. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Thesis:
I strongly believe that organizations should have a responsibility to promote the well-being of the societies and environments in which they operate for three key reasons.
The last sentence uses provocative words that will make an impact on your reader. That's good. Remember that a good thesis statement should express a debatable claim that you can support with evidence and reasons. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Paragraph 2 - supporting argument: 40%
Topic sentence:
First, corporations left to focus on profitability as their sole driving factor can lead to perverse effects within society.
The first sentence of this paragraph contains words that will have an impact on your reader. That's good.
Nevertheless, remember this advice: an effective topic sentence in an argument essay should make a debatable claim that the rest of the paragraph will elaborate on with reasons and examples. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Argue:
You have not used any words commonly used in argumentation. Use argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have used a word commonly used when providing support. That's good. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Paragraph 3 - supporting argument: 15%
Topic sentence:
Second, corporations that take on the responsibility to promote the well-being of the communities ensure that there are positive externalities that lead to further outcomes for the communities that they operate in.
The first sentence of your first body paragraph makes no claim. You can improve your score by making a strong claim in the first sentence of each body paragraph that you can elaborate on with the rest of the paragraph. Here is an example of a topic sentence that makes a strong claim: We need to tax processed food with added sugar to reduce the harm it is causing. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Argue:
You have not used any words commonly used in argumentation. Use argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have used a word commonly used when providing support. That's good. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Paragraph 4 - supporting argument: 40%
Topic sentence:
Third, the community and environment are one of the key reasons for the business success of the companies so there should be an expected duty to them in the same if not greater vein than the company’s fiduciary duty to stakeholders.
The first sentence of your first body paragraph makes a very weak claim. You can improve your score by making a strong claim in the first sentence of each body paragraph that you can elaborate on with the rest of the paragraph. Here is an example of a topic sentence that makes a strong claim: We need to tax processed food with added sugar to reduce the harm it is causing. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Argue:
You have used multiple words commonly used in argumentation. That's excellent. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have not used any words commonly used for providing support. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Paragraph 5 - conclusion: 100%
Reformulation of the thesis:
While others will claim that corporations should only focus on making as much money as possible because they are not charities as long as they follow the law, the corporations are unlikely to generate sustainable and greater profit if they end up damaging the communities and environments that they operate in.
Your reformulated thesis in your conclusion is 11% the same as your thesis statement in your introduction. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Recommendation:
The paragraph contains suggestion words like should
You made a recommendation. That's good. It is a good practice in an essay of this type to recommend a course of action to your reader. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Prediction:
I checked your conclusion for prediction words to see if you had made a prediction. It seems you have. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Vocabulary: 93%
Argument-related words: because, believe, claim, it is clear, reasons, so
Feedback: You have used a variety of words related to argumentation. That's good. Your score for this feature = 80/100
Vocabulary profile:
Feedback: 52% of your essay comprises the most common 1000 words in the language. You possess a very large vocabulary and excellent academic potential. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Academic vocabulary profile: area, environment, establish, factor, function, individual, affect, community, consequence, consumer, focus, impact, investor, positive, range, resource, compensate, corporate, corporation, ensure, fund, justify, link, negative, outcome, access, project, promote, externality, generate, sustainable, allocation, minimum, sole, exploit, controversy
Feedback: 36% of your essay comprises words from the academic word list. You possess a very large academic vocabulary and suggests excellent academic potential. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Language Accuracy: 70%
Number of errors: 5
Feedback: I detected a significant number of errors in your writing. Do your best to eliminate any avoidable errors in your writing by rereading your essay carefully and by using a spell checker and grammar checker. Your score for this feature = 70/100
Grammar Check Feedback
You wrote: ... to see the work that corporations have done ranging from the destruction of the env...
Feedback: The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "gone ranging".
Suggestion: gone ranging
You wrote: ...s from these corporations is not enough and we should expect them to act further an...
Feedback: Use a comma before "and" between two independent clauses.
Suggestion: , and
You wrote: ...d expect them to act further and beyond to ensure that they do not lead to negative effec...
Feedback: **You cannot use an infinitive form after a preposition. Use a gerund instead. Did you mean "and beyond ensuring"?
Suggestion: and beyond ensuring
You wrote: ...munities ensure that there are positive externalities that lead to further outcomes for the c...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: externalizes, externalises
You wrote: ... way, the environment and the community provide raw resources – whether in the form of ...
Feedback: You have a problem with your verb agreement. The singular noun phrase "the community" must be used with a third-person verb "provides" or a past tense verb "provided". (VBE)
Re: Please Rate my Essay
[#permalink]
28 Oct 2023, 04:14
28 Oct 2023, 04:14
Carcass wrote:
Assignment Score: 66.75
Statistics
1. You have written 585 words.
2. I count a total of 5 paragraphs.
3. You have written 20 sentences.
4. Your average sentence length is 29.25.
5. You have written 0 question.
6. You have used 1 first-person pronoun (I, me, my, mine).
Writing quality: 50%
Cohesion:
You have not used very many transition words (2-3) and cohesion devices in your essay to help your reader understand the relationship between your ideas. Add more transition words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of transitions that you can use are as follows: along the same lines, because of this, as an example, as an illustration, take the case of, to illustrate, as a matter of fact, there is no question that, without a doubt. Your score for this feature = 40/100
Dynamism:
Your writing style is quite dynamic. You write a variety of short sentences and long sentences. Increase the variance in your sentence length to increase your score. Your score for this feature = 80/100
Provocativeness:
Your essay contains very few words that will provoke an emotional reaction in your reader. Provocative words help to engage and sustain your reader's attention. Add more to increase your score. Here are some examples of words that provoke an emotional reaction in readers: awe-inspiring, brutal, children, danger, explode, fear, gorgeous, hoax, invasion... Your score for this feature = 40/100
Cliches:
Avoid using cliches. They make your writing seem empty and tiresome. Your penalty for this feature = -10
Exclamation marks:
I did not detect any exclamation marks in your writing. No penalty was applied.
Essay structure and content: 54%
Paragraph 1 - introduction: 83%
Title:
I could not detect any word with four letters or more in your title that was not capitalized. This tells me that you have capitalized your title correctly. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Opening:
Given the increasing inter relatedness of the corporate world and the public world, it has become increasingly clear that organizations can severely impact the world for good and ill.
I noticed that you started your essay with a short anecdote or narrative to spark interest in your topic. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Context:
I checked your introduction for words and phrases that writers use to establish the importance of their topic. I was unable to find any matches. Establish the importance of your topic with one of these phrases: a vital factor in, the leading cause of, widely considered to be, set to become, undergoing a revolution, is responsible for. There are others. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Thesis:
I strongly believe that organizations should have a responsibility to promote the well-being of the societies and environments in which they operate for three key reasons.
The last sentence uses provocative words that will make an impact on your reader. That's good. Remember that a good thesis statement should express a debatable claim that you can support with evidence and reasons. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Paragraph 2 - supporting argument: 40%
Topic sentence:
First, corporations left to focus on profitability as their sole driving factor can lead to perverse effects within society.
The first sentence of this paragraph contains words that will have an impact on your reader. That's good.
Nevertheless, remember this advice: an effective topic sentence in an argument essay should make a debatable claim that the rest of the paragraph will elaborate on with reasons and examples. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Argue:
You have not used any words commonly used in argumentation. Use argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have used a word commonly used when providing support. That's good. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Paragraph 3 - supporting argument: 15%
Topic sentence:
Second, corporations that take on the responsibility to promote the well-being of the communities ensure that there are positive externalities that lead to further outcomes for the communities that they operate in.
The first sentence of your first body paragraph makes no claim. You can improve your score by making a strong claim in the first sentence of each body paragraph that you can elaborate on with the rest of the paragraph. Here is an example of a topic sentence that makes a strong claim: We need to tax processed food with added sugar to reduce the harm it is causing. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Argue:
You have not used any words commonly used in argumentation. Use argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have used a word commonly used when providing support. That's good. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Paragraph 4 - supporting argument: 40%
Topic sentence:
Third, the community and environment are one of the key reasons for the business success of the companies so there should be an expected duty to them in the same if not greater vein than the company’s fiduciary duty to stakeholders.
The first sentence of your first body paragraph makes a very weak claim. You can improve your score by making a strong claim in the first sentence of each body paragraph that you can elaborate on with the rest of the paragraph. Here is an example of a topic sentence that makes a strong claim: We need to tax processed food with added sugar to reduce the harm it is causing. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Argue:
You have used multiple words commonly used in argumentation. That's excellent. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have not used any words commonly used for providing support. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Paragraph 5 - conclusion: 100%
Reformulation of the thesis:
While others will claim that corporations should only focus on making as much money as possible because they are not charities as long as they follow the law, the corporations are unlikely to generate sustainable and greater profit if they end up damaging the communities and environments that they operate in.
Your reformulated thesis in your conclusion is 11% the same as your thesis statement in your introduction. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Recommendation:
The paragraph contains suggestion words like should
You made a recommendation. That's good. It is a good practice in an essay of this type to recommend a course of action to your reader. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Prediction:
I checked your conclusion for prediction words to see if you had made a prediction. It seems you have. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Vocabulary: 93%
Argument-related words: because, believe, claim, it is clear, reasons, so
Feedback: You have used a variety of words related to argumentation. That's good. Your score for this feature = 80/100
Vocabulary profile:
Feedback: 52% of your essay comprises the most common 1000 words in the language. You possess a very large vocabulary and excellent academic potential. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Academic vocabulary profile: area, environment, establish, factor, function, individual, affect, community, consequence, consumer, focus, impact, investor, positive, range, resource, compensate, corporate, corporation, ensure, fund, justify, link, negative, outcome, access, project, promote, externality, generate, sustainable, allocation, minimum, sole, exploit, controversy
Feedback: 36% of your essay comprises words from the academic word list. You possess a very large academic vocabulary and suggests excellent academic potential. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Language Accuracy: 70%
Number of errors: 5
Feedback: I detected a significant number of errors in your writing. Do your best to eliminate any avoidable errors in your writing by rereading your essay carefully and by using a spell checker and grammar checker. Your score for this feature = 70/100
Grammar Check Feedback
You wrote: ... to see the work that corporations have done ranging from the destruction of the env...
Feedback: The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "gone ranging".
Suggestion: gone ranging
You wrote: ...s from these corporations is not enough and we should expect them to act further an...
Feedback: Use a comma before "and" between two independent clauses.
Suggestion: , and
You wrote: ...d expect them to act further and beyond to ensure that they do not lead to negative effec...
Feedback: **You cannot use an infinitive form after a preposition. Use a gerund instead. Did you mean "and beyond ensuring"?
Suggestion: and beyond ensuring
You wrote: ...munities ensure that there are positive externalities that lead to further outcomes for the c...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: externalizes, externalises
You wrote: ... way, the environment and the community provide raw resources – whether in the form of ...
Feedback: You have a problem with your verb agreement. The singular noun phrase "the community" must be used with a third-person verb "provides" or a past tense verb "provided". (VBE)
Statistics
1. You have written 585 words.
2. I count a total of 5 paragraphs.
3. You have written 20 sentences.
4. Your average sentence length is 29.25.
5. You have written 0 question.
6. You have used 1 first-person pronoun (I, me, my, mine).
Writing quality: 50%
Cohesion:
You have not used very many transition words (2-3) and cohesion devices in your essay to help your reader understand the relationship between your ideas. Add more transition words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of transitions that you can use are as follows: along the same lines, because of this, as an example, as an illustration, take the case of, to illustrate, as a matter of fact, there is no question that, without a doubt. Your score for this feature = 40/100
Dynamism:
Your writing style is quite dynamic. You write a variety of short sentences and long sentences. Increase the variance in your sentence length to increase your score. Your score for this feature = 80/100
Provocativeness:
Your essay contains very few words that will provoke an emotional reaction in your reader. Provocative words help to engage and sustain your reader's attention. Add more to increase your score. Here are some examples of words that provoke an emotional reaction in readers: awe-inspiring, brutal, children, danger, explode, fear, gorgeous, hoax, invasion... Your score for this feature = 40/100
Cliches:
Avoid using cliches. They make your writing seem empty and tiresome. Your penalty for this feature = -10
Exclamation marks:
I did not detect any exclamation marks in your writing. No penalty was applied.
Essay structure and content: 54%
Paragraph 1 - introduction: 83%
Title:
I could not detect any word with four letters or more in your title that was not capitalized. This tells me that you have capitalized your title correctly. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Opening:
Given the increasing inter relatedness of the corporate world and the public world, it has become increasingly clear that organizations can severely impact the world for good and ill.
I noticed that you started your essay with a short anecdote or narrative to spark interest in your topic. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Context:
I checked your introduction for words and phrases that writers use to establish the importance of their topic. I was unable to find any matches. Establish the importance of your topic with one of these phrases: a vital factor in, the leading cause of, widely considered to be, set to become, undergoing a revolution, is responsible for. There are others. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Thesis:
I strongly believe that organizations should have a responsibility to promote the well-being of the societies and environments in which they operate for three key reasons.
The last sentence uses provocative words that will make an impact on your reader. That's good. Remember that a good thesis statement should express a debatable claim that you can support with evidence and reasons. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Paragraph 2 - supporting argument: 40%
Topic sentence:
First, corporations left to focus on profitability as their sole driving factor can lead to perverse effects within society.
The first sentence of this paragraph contains words that will have an impact on your reader. That's good.
Nevertheless, remember this advice: an effective topic sentence in an argument essay should make a debatable claim that the rest of the paragraph will elaborate on with reasons and examples. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Argue:
You have not used any words commonly used in argumentation. Use argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have used a word commonly used when providing support. That's good. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Paragraph 3 - supporting argument: 15%
Topic sentence:
Second, corporations that take on the responsibility to promote the well-being of the communities ensure that there are positive externalities that lead to further outcomes for the communities that they operate in.
The first sentence of your first body paragraph makes no claim. You can improve your score by making a strong claim in the first sentence of each body paragraph that you can elaborate on with the rest of the paragraph. Here is an example of a topic sentence that makes a strong claim: We need to tax processed food with added sugar to reduce the harm it is causing. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Argue:
You have not used any words commonly used in argumentation. Use argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have used a word commonly used when providing support. That's good. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Paragraph 4 - supporting argument: 40%
Topic sentence:
Third, the community and environment are one of the key reasons for the business success of the companies so there should be an expected duty to them in the same if not greater vein than the company’s fiduciary duty to stakeholders.
The first sentence of your first body paragraph makes a very weak claim. You can improve your score by making a strong claim in the first sentence of each body paragraph that you can elaborate on with the rest of the paragraph. Here is an example of a topic sentence that makes a strong claim: We need to tax processed food with added sugar to reduce the harm it is causing. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Argue:
You have used multiple words commonly used in argumentation. That's excellent. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have not used any words commonly used for providing support. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Paragraph 5 - conclusion: 100%
Reformulation of the thesis:
While others will claim that corporations should only focus on making as much money as possible because they are not charities as long as they follow the law, the corporations are unlikely to generate sustainable and greater profit if they end up damaging the communities and environments that they operate in.
Your reformulated thesis in your conclusion is 11% the same as your thesis statement in your introduction. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Recommendation:
The paragraph contains suggestion words like should
You made a recommendation. That's good. It is a good practice in an essay of this type to recommend a course of action to your reader. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Prediction:
I checked your conclusion for prediction words to see if you had made a prediction. It seems you have. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Vocabulary: 93%
Argument-related words: because, believe, claim, it is clear, reasons, so
Feedback: You have used a variety of words related to argumentation. That's good. Your score for this feature = 80/100
Vocabulary profile:
Feedback: 52% of your essay comprises the most common 1000 words in the language. You possess a very large vocabulary and excellent academic potential. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Academic vocabulary profile: area, environment, establish, factor, function, individual, affect, community, consequence, consumer, focus, impact, investor, positive, range, resource, compensate, corporate, corporation, ensure, fund, justify, link, negative, outcome, access, project, promote, externality, generate, sustainable, allocation, minimum, sole, exploit, controversy
Feedback: 36% of your essay comprises words from the academic word list. You possess a very large academic vocabulary and suggests excellent academic potential. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Language Accuracy: 70%
Number of errors: 5
Feedback: I detected a significant number of errors in your writing. Do your best to eliminate any avoidable errors in your writing by rereading your essay carefully and by using a spell checker and grammar checker. Your score for this feature = 70/100
Grammar Check Feedback
You wrote: ... to see the work that corporations have done ranging from the destruction of the env...
Feedback: The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "gone ranging".
Suggestion: gone ranging
You wrote: ...s from these corporations is not enough and we should expect them to act further an...
Feedback: Use a comma before "and" between two independent clauses.
Suggestion: , and
You wrote: ...d expect them to act further and beyond to ensure that they do not lead to negative effec...
Feedback: **You cannot use an infinitive form after a preposition. Use a gerund instead. Did you mean "and beyond ensuring"?
Suggestion: and beyond ensuring
You wrote: ...munities ensure that there are positive externalities that lead to further outcomes for the c...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: externalizes, externalises
You wrote: ... way, the environment and the community provide raw resources – whether in the form of ...
Feedback: You have a problem with your verb agreement. The singular noun phrase "the community" must be used with a third-person verb "provides" or a past tense verb "provided". (VBE)
Hey Carcass,
Can I ask how to assess this assignment score translates to the actual AWA?
