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Society should identify those children who have special talents and pr
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Updated on: 27 Mar 2024, 00:09
Updated on: 27 Mar 2024, 00:09
Society should identify those children who have special talents and provide training for them at an early age to develop their talents.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.
Response
Students are the building blocks of society, so it's our(society) responsibility to give all possible resources to them. The prompt suggests that artful students should be find out and given training from a nascent age to hone their talents. I feel everyone has equal right to education and so the training so I disagree with the proposed statement for the following two reasons.
First of all, if special training is given to only students having talents would be unfair for students having less talent. As said previously, everyone has right to equal education which creates an unbiased society. Other students (not getting training) would feel disdained and ultimately impacting their morale which can be detrimental to their overall personality as well as career. In addition to that, this would also inculcate jealousy and animosity among them, ultimately leading to unstable environment instead of friendly environment. There are many students who although don't have sharp mind (talent) but are equally capable of accomplishing with their hard work, if given proper training. For instance, when I was sixth class, I had been given an opportunity to get admission to a good school on the basis of my exceptional track record, but my friend was not given this opportunity because he was not good in study (as per the marksheets) but it was mainly because he had poor financial condition which impeded him to perform good.
Secondly, it can build sense of entitlement and arrogance among the students getting the privilege. They might get overconfident about their talent and become presumptuous. In addition to that, they might presume getting this benefit at every point of life. For instance, in India, many talented students are given opportunity by different tutoring institutes to get best faculty for preparation of IIT-JEE examination (one of the most difficult engineering examination in world) on the basis of screening test. Students getting this benefit become overconfident that they would be able to outperform the examination, but the irony is only 10% of them are able to perform good in examination and other perform worse than students who were not getting this benefit. This shows glut of benefit sometimes can be perennial.
Although I do concede that sometimes providing training to students possessing exceptional talents can be overall boon to their career and so the society. To sum up, I think we should not give any training to students possessing extra talents just because they are god-gifted. Education should be equally provided.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.
Response
Students are the building blocks of society, so it's our(society) responsibility to give all possible resources to them. The prompt suggests that artful students should be find out and given training from a nascent age to hone their talents. I feel everyone has equal right to education and so the training so I disagree with the proposed statement for the following two reasons.
First of all, if special training is given to only students having talents would be unfair for students having less talent. As said previously, everyone has right to equal education which creates an unbiased society. Other students (not getting training) would feel disdained and ultimately impacting their morale which can be detrimental to their overall personality as well as career. In addition to that, this would also inculcate jealousy and animosity among them, ultimately leading to unstable environment instead of friendly environment. There are many students who although don't have sharp mind (talent) but are equally capable of accomplishing with their hard work, if given proper training. For instance, when I was sixth class, I had been given an opportunity to get admission to a good school on the basis of my exceptional track record, but my friend was not given this opportunity because he was not good in study (as per the marksheets) but it was mainly because he had poor financial condition which impeded him to perform good.
Secondly, it can build sense of entitlement and arrogance among the students getting the privilege. They might get overconfident about their talent and become presumptuous. In addition to that, they might presume getting this benefit at every point of life. For instance, in India, many talented students are given opportunity by different tutoring institutes to get best faculty for preparation of IIT-JEE examination (one of the most difficult engineering examination in world) on the basis of screening test. Students getting this benefit become overconfident that they would be able to outperform the examination, but the irony is only 10% of them are able to perform good in examination and other perform worse than students who were not getting this benefit. This shows glut of benefit sometimes can be perennial.
Although I do concede that sometimes providing training to students possessing exceptional talents can be overall boon to their career and so the society. To sum up, I think we should not give any training to students possessing extra talents just because they are god-gifted. Education should be equally provided.
Originally posted by alphaprober on 26 Mar 2024, 09:32.
Last edited by Carcass on 27 Mar 2024, 00:09, edited 1 time in total.
Last edited by Carcass on 27 Mar 2024, 00:09, edited 1 time in total.
UPDATED
Re: Society should identify those children who have special talents and pr
[#permalink]
27 Mar 2024, 00:09
27 Mar 2024, 00:09
Expert Reply
Assignment Score: 61.75
Statistics
1. You have written 412 words.
2. I count a total of 4 paragraphs.
3. You have written 18 sentences.
4. Your average sentence length is 22.89.
5. You have written 0 question.
6. You have used 8 first-person pronouns (I, me, my, mine).
Writing quality: 63%
Cohesion:
You have transition words and cohesion devices in your essay to help your reader understand the relationship between your ideas. Add more transition words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of transitions that you can use are as follows: along the same lines, because of this, as an example, as an illustration, take the case of, to illustrate, as a matter of fact, there is no question that, without a doubt. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Dynamism:
Your writing style is dynamic. You write a combination of short sentences and long sentences. That's very good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Provocativeness:
Your essay contains very few words that will provoke an emotional reaction in your reader. Provocative words help to engage and sustain your reader's attention. Add more to increase your score. Here are some examples of words that provoke an emotional reaction in readers: awe-inspiring, brutal, children, danger, explode, fear, gorgeous, hoax, invasion... Your score for this feature = 40/100
Cliches:
Avoid using cliches. They make your writing seem empty and tiresome. Your penalty for this feature = -10
Exclamation marks:
I did not detect any exclamation marks in your writing. No penalty was applied.
Essay structure and content: 56%
Paragraph 1 - introduction: 66%
Title:
I could not detect any word with four letters or more in your title that was not capitalized. This tells me that you have capitalized your title correctly. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Opening:
Students are the building blocks of society, so it's our(society) responsibility to give all possible resources to them.
I was expecting to find a question, a quote, a statistic, or an anecdote in your first sentence of your introduction. There wasn't one. Remember to use either a question, a quote, or a statistic to engage your readers attention at the beginning of your essay. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Context:
I checked your introduction for words and phrases that writers use to establish the importance of their topic. I was unable to find any matches. Establish the importance of your topic with one of these phrases: a vital factor in, the leading cause of, widely considered to be, set to become, undergoing a revolution, is responsible for. There are others. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Thesis:
I feel everyone has equal right to education and so the training so I disagree with the proposed statement for the following two reasons.
The last sentence uses provocative words that will make an impact on your reader. That's good. Remember that a good thesis statement should express a debatable claim that you can support with evidence and reasons. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Paragraph 2 - supporting argument: 50%
Topic sentence:
First of all, if special training is given to only students having talents would be unfair for students having less talent.
The first sentence of your first body paragraph makes a very weak claim. You can improve your score by making a strong claim in the first sentence of each body paragraph that you can elaborate on with the rest of the paragraph. Here is an example of a topic sentence that makes a strong claim: We need to tax processed food with added sugar to reduce the harm it is causing. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Argue:
You have used two words commonly used in argumentation. That's good. Use one or two more argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 80/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have used a word commonly used when providing support. That's good. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Paragraph 3 - supporting argument: 55%
Topic sentence:
Secondly, it can build sense of entitlement and arrogance among the students getting the privilege.
The first sentence of this paragraph contains words that will have an impact on your reader. That's good.
Nevertheless, remember this advice: an effective topic sentence in an argument essay should make a debatable claim that the rest of the paragraph will elaborate on with reasons and examples. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Argue:
You have used a word commonly used in argumentation. That's a good start. However, try to use one or two more argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have used a word commonly used when providing support. That's good. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Paragraph 4 - conclusion: 60%
Reformulation of the thesis:
Although I do concede that sometimes providing training to students possessing exceptional talents can be overall boon to their career and so the society.
Your reformulated thesis in your conclusion is 8% the same as your thesis statement in your introduction. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Recommendation:
The paragraph contains suggestion words like should
You made a recommendation. That's good. It is a good practice in an essay of this type to recommend a course of action to your reader. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Prediction:
No prediction? I checked your conclusion for prediction words to see if you had made a prediction. I was unable to detect any of these words: will, would, going to, likely to. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Vocabulary: 93%
Argument-related words: because, point, reasons, so, statement, study
Feedback: You have used a variety of words related to argumentation. That's good. Your score for this feature = 80/100
Vocabulary profile:
Feedback: 54% of your essay comprises the most common 1000 words in the language. You possess a very large vocabulary and excellent academic potential. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Academic vocabulary profile: benefit, create, environment, financial, impact, institutes, resource, instance, overall, sum, unstable, capable, presume, presumptuous, unbiased
Feedback: 15% of your essay comprises words from the academic word list. You possess a very large academic vocabulary and suggests excellent academic potential. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Language Accuracy: 35%
Number of errors: 10
Feedback: I detected many errors in your writing. Reread your essay carefully and use a spell checker and grammar checker to help you identify and eliminate avoidable errors. Your score for this feature = 35/100
Grammar Check Feedback
You wrote: ...suggests that artful students should be find out and given training from a nascent a...
Feedback: Use the past participle or the present participle form here: be found, be finding
Suggestion: found, finding
You wrote: ... right to education and so the training so I disagree with the proposed statement ...
Feedback: Use a comma before "so" between two independent clauses.
Suggestion: , so
You wrote: ...he following two reasons. First of all, if special training is given to only stude...
Feedback: Where is your comma? There does not seem to be one in this sentence. Separate your if-clause from your result-clause with a comma.
Suggestion:
You wrote: ...although don't have sharp mind (talent) but are equally capable of accomplishing wi...
Feedback: Do not use the word "but" in a sentence with the word "although." They have the same meaning. Why not remove the word "but" and keep the word "Although"?
Suggestion: Although
You wrote: ...se he was not good in study (as per the marksheets) but it was mainly because he had poor ...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: mark sheets
You wrote: ... to get best faculty for preparation of IIT-JEE examination (one of the most difficult ...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: Kitchee
You wrote: ... (one of the most difficult engineering examination in world) on the basis of screening tes...
Feedback: You have written "one of the" + most + adjective + noun modifier + singular noun. Did you mean "one of the most difficult engineering examinations"? (Plural needed)
Suggestion: one of the most difficult engineering examinations
You wrote: ...ing test. Students getting this benefit become overconfident that they would be able t...
Feedback: You have a problem with your verb agreement. The singular noun "benefit" must be used with a third-person verb "becomes" or a past tense verb "became". (va1.1)
Suggestion: becomes, became
You wrote: ...ents who were not getting this benefit. This shows glut of benefit sometimes can be ...
Feedback: Use a plural determiner with a plural noun, or make your noun singular.
Suggestion: These shows, This show
You wrote: ...etting this benefit. This shows glut of benefit sometimes can be perennial. Although I do concede...
Feedback: The adverb "sometimes" is usually put before the verb 'benefit'.
Suggestion: sometimes benefit
Statistics
1. You have written 412 words.
2. I count a total of 4 paragraphs.
3. You have written 18 sentences.
4. Your average sentence length is 22.89.
5. You have written 0 question.
6. You have used 8 first-person pronouns (I, me, my, mine).
Writing quality: 63%
Cohesion:
You have transition words and cohesion devices in your essay to help your reader understand the relationship between your ideas. Add more transition words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of transitions that you can use are as follows: along the same lines, because of this, as an example, as an illustration, take the case of, to illustrate, as a matter of fact, there is no question that, without a doubt. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Dynamism:
Your writing style is dynamic. You write a combination of short sentences and long sentences. That's very good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Provocativeness:
Your essay contains very few words that will provoke an emotional reaction in your reader. Provocative words help to engage and sustain your reader's attention. Add more to increase your score. Here are some examples of words that provoke an emotional reaction in readers: awe-inspiring, brutal, children, danger, explode, fear, gorgeous, hoax, invasion... Your score for this feature = 40/100
Cliches:
Avoid using cliches. They make your writing seem empty and tiresome. Your penalty for this feature = -10
Exclamation marks:
I did not detect any exclamation marks in your writing. No penalty was applied.
Essay structure and content: 56%
Paragraph 1 - introduction: 66%
Title:
I could not detect any word with four letters or more in your title that was not capitalized. This tells me that you have capitalized your title correctly. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Opening:
Students are the building blocks of society, so it's our(society) responsibility to give all possible resources to them.
I was expecting to find a question, a quote, a statistic, or an anecdote in your first sentence of your introduction. There wasn't one. Remember to use either a question, a quote, or a statistic to engage your readers attention at the beginning of your essay. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Context:
I checked your introduction for words and phrases that writers use to establish the importance of their topic. I was unable to find any matches. Establish the importance of your topic with one of these phrases: a vital factor in, the leading cause of, widely considered to be, set to become, undergoing a revolution, is responsible for. There are others. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Thesis:
I feel everyone has equal right to education and so the training so I disagree with the proposed statement for the following two reasons.
The last sentence uses provocative words that will make an impact on your reader. That's good. Remember that a good thesis statement should express a debatable claim that you can support with evidence and reasons. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Paragraph 2 - supporting argument: 50%
Topic sentence:
First of all, if special training is given to only students having talents would be unfair for students having less talent.
The first sentence of your first body paragraph makes a very weak claim. You can improve your score by making a strong claim in the first sentence of each body paragraph that you can elaborate on with the rest of the paragraph. Here is an example of a topic sentence that makes a strong claim: We need to tax processed food with added sugar to reduce the harm it is causing. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Argue:
You have used two words commonly used in argumentation. That's good. Use one or two more argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 80/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have used a word commonly used when providing support. That's good. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Paragraph 3 - supporting argument: 55%
Topic sentence:
Secondly, it can build sense of entitlement and arrogance among the students getting the privilege.
The first sentence of this paragraph contains words that will have an impact on your reader. That's good.
Nevertheless, remember this advice: an effective topic sentence in an argument essay should make a debatable claim that the rest of the paragraph will elaborate on with reasons and examples. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Argue:
You have used a word commonly used in argumentation. That's a good start. However, try to use one or two more argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have used a word commonly used when providing support. That's good. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Paragraph 4 - conclusion: 60%
Reformulation of the thesis:
Although I do concede that sometimes providing training to students possessing exceptional talents can be overall boon to their career and so the society.
Your reformulated thesis in your conclusion is 8% the same as your thesis statement in your introduction. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Recommendation:
The paragraph contains suggestion words like should
You made a recommendation. That's good. It is a good practice in an essay of this type to recommend a course of action to your reader. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Prediction:
No prediction? I checked your conclusion for prediction words to see if you had made a prediction. I was unable to detect any of these words: will, would, going to, likely to. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Vocabulary: 93%
Argument-related words: because, point, reasons, so, statement, study
Feedback: You have used a variety of words related to argumentation. That's good. Your score for this feature = 80/100
Vocabulary profile:
Feedback: 54% of your essay comprises the most common 1000 words in the language. You possess a very large vocabulary and excellent academic potential. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Academic vocabulary profile: benefit, create, environment, financial, impact, institutes, resource, instance, overall, sum, unstable, capable, presume, presumptuous, unbiased
Feedback: 15% of your essay comprises words from the academic word list. You possess a very large academic vocabulary and suggests excellent academic potential. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Language Accuracy: 35%
Number of errors: 10
Feedback: I detected many errors in your writing. Reread your essay carefully and use a spell checker and grammar checker to help you identify and eliminate avoidable errors. Your score for this feature = 35/100
Grammar Check Feedback
You wrote: ...suggests that artful students should be find out and given training from a nascent a...
Feedback: Use the past participle or the present participle form here: be found, be finding
Suggestion: found, finding
You wrote: ... right to education and so the training so I disagree with the proposed statement ...
Feedback: Use a comma before "so" between two independent clauses.
Suggestion: , so
You wrote: ...he following two reasons. First of all, if special training is given to only stude...
Feedback: Where is your comma? There does not seem to be one in this sentence. Separate your if-clause from your result-clause with a comma.
Suggestion:
You wrote: ...although don't have sharp mind (talent) but are equally capable of accomplishing wi...
Feedback: Do not use the word "but" in a sentence with the word "although." They have the same meaning. Why not remove the word "but" and keep the word "Although"?
Suggestion: Although
You wrote: ...se he was not good in study (as per the marksheets) but it was mainly because he had poor ...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: mark sheets
You wrote: ... to get best faculty for preparation of IIT-JEE examination (one of the most difficult ...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: Kitchee
You wrote: ... (one of the most difficult engineering examination in world) on the basis of screening tes...
Feedback: You have written "one of the" + most + adjective + noun modifier + singular noun. Did you mean "one of the most difficult engineering examinations"? (Plural needed)
Suggestion: one of the most difficult engineering examinations
You wrote: ...ing test. Students getting this benefit become overconfident that they would be able t...
Feedback: You have a problem with your verb agreement. The singular noun "benefit" must be used with a third-person verb "becomes" or a past tense verb "became". (va1.1)
Suggestion: becomes, became
You wrote: ...ents who were not getting this benefit. This shows glut of benefit sometimes can be ...
Feedback: Use a plural determiner with a plural noun, or make your noun singular.
Suggestion: These shows, This show
You wrote: ...etting this benefit. This shows glut of benefit sometimes can be perennial. Although I do concede...
Feedback: The adverb "sometimes" is usually put before the verb 'benefit'.
Suggestion: sometimes benefit
gmatclubot
Re: Society should identify those children who have special talents and pr [#permalink]
27 Mar 2024, 00:09
Moderators:
