Good

: Well balanced Argument.

Cons

: A few sentences could be better highlighted in red (Green is good)

The manager has suggested to continue with Ad Lab's advertisement agency to repeat the success of band.

The manager of the Double Rice rock band agency is suggesting continuing with advertising agency called Ad Lab’s to repeat the success across the nation. To support the argument, some of the facts given from manager are that during the recent concert in Megalopolis the tickets of the band got sold in 12 minutes, and band is popular among 14 to 25 years of age group people. But facts presented my manager doesn’t seems cogent to me and following additional details are needed.


To start with as it’s mentioned that compare to earlier the ticket got sold within 12 minutes but to me some of these can be a possible scenario. First is that band itself might have to become popular due to its music and the kind of music it plays. From the argument given its not clear that the popularity of band is because of the advertisement agency. Also it might be possible that earlier tickets were sold at the place of concert, now they might have started an online option *** to sell those tickets. These days smart phones and compliant applications are quite handy, so people might have bought either thru cellphones or online, which made the tickets to be sold very fast.

One more point, I want to bring here regarding 12 minute argument is might be possible that earlier tickets for the show might have been costly now since they might have reduced the prices of ticket, it got sold in few minutes.

Second point to rise is the popularity of band in megalopolis is might be due to their local connection. The group might be made of people who are local to this place and because of which they are already know and famous, so me it doesn’t feels like that it’s because of the advertisement agency.

Third point, I need clarification is that as mentioned in the letter that group is famous among 14 to 25 years old and for future concerts we should hire the agency to repeat the success, but to me to repeat the success, the musical tours should be planned in those places where people of this age group are more. If agency is not proposing or not suggesting or considering this aspect then, I am little dubious about the agency that they will be able to repeat the success of megalopolis.

I request manager of Double Rice band that please, provide the following details 1) This time were the tickets sold online or same conventional method was adopted, means outside the concert hall. 2) Second were the next concert is going to be happen and has the advertisement agency has done survey about the age group of people. Please provide these additional information to firm your argument.


*** If online bookings is not mentioned exclusively then best to avoid any direct reference. Make it vague by saying "New ticket sales platfroms might have been introduced, boosting ticket sales, however this should not be attributed to the AD Agency's efforts. "

Wrong usage of the word Dubious. I am uncertain/ I am doubtful

Avoid 1)....2) format. Try and make this into a legitimate sentence.