Good:

Well formed Sentences and almost no grammatical mistakes.

Bad:

The premise states that extensive use of technology would diminish the human mental capacity. However your essay broadly covers all the positive aspects of technology in human life. Essentially this topic could be renamed as, "If we use calculator too much we get worse at math, over time." The "problems" in the context of the question is pertains to theoretical problems.

It is absolutely fine if you use quotes in essays.



It is human nature to look for shortcuts. When we have an easier way of doing something, we do not take the longer path in order to avoid trouble. As the world is advancing, it is making our lives easier. Many problems faced in the olden times which required a lot of physical as well as mental effort are now only a matter of a few clicks. Since technology has entered every home, office and school, there is an increased tendency to depend on it to get our jobs done. I agree with the fact that human dependence on technology has increased. This points at the suggestion made in the statement that the ability of humans to think for themselves will deteriorate in time. However, if this is realized at the correct time, such a situation can be avoided. Moreover, this may not be the case with every individual. The advancement of technology itself is a wonder of the human mind. It is only when great thinkers and learned people think on an individual level that development becomes possible.

Due to the advancement of technology we have now forgotten the pains taken to accomplish a task as was done before any development in that particular field was made. It is only when we are faced with problems that we make efforts to find a solution to it. We can find examples of this in history where it was only when people faced the problem of traveling long distances on foot and carrying heavy loads that made them think of a solution. This resulted in the invention of the wheel that made their work easier and less burdening. On the other hand, when there is no problem faced by us, we don't find the need to look for solutions and advancements.

The power of a human brain is unfathomable. However, it is important to keep the brain working by performing mental exercises. There were times when people relied on their mental abilities to perform calculations. This kept them mentally active and alert. However, as calculators came into existence, people started performing even simple calculations on the calculator. This is the reason why we are not able to solve a mathematical problem orally while our fathers, who did not use calculators, are still quick to solve the same. This indicates that we started depending upon calculators for every calculation, which made our brains dull and irresponsive to mental calculations. As the computer came into the world, it reduced our mental work even further.

If a machine were not used for a long time it would start creaking and eventually stop working. Our brain, like any machinery, needs to be exercised in order to keep it working. Therefore, it is on us to exercise our thinking abilities and keep ourselves active. If we depend too much upon technology and avoid mental exercise, it would definitely deteriorate our thinking abilities. Therefore, along with taking the benefits of technology, we should develop a habit of thinking and solving problems at our own. Students should be encouraged to develop a problem-solving attitude by giving them tasks related to finding solutions. Similarly, we must calculate our monthly budget without any help. Instead of turning to the interiors of our homes and offices in the hot weather, we should think about the possible solutions to reduce global warming. Likewise, it is only when we give a personal thought on how to save fuel that practical solutions like sharing vehicles to schools and offices can be sought.

As I have discussed earlier, technology is a creation of the human mind. This development is possible only because of the advancement of human thinking abilities. However, we must make it a point that we do not become a slave to the advancement of technology and retain our thinking abilities, which would keep the development going.



The statement linking technology negatively with free thinking plays on recent human experience over the past century. Surely there has been no time in history where the lived lives of people have changed more dramatically. A quick reflection on a typical day reveals how technology has revolutionized the world. Most people commute to work in an automobile that runs on an internal combustion engine. During the workday, chances are high that the employee will interact with a computer that processes information on silicon bridges that are .09 microns wide. Upon leaving home, family members will be reached through wireless networks that utilize satellites orbiting the earth. Each of these common occurrences could have been inconceivable at the turn of the 19th century.

The statement attempts to bridge these dramatic changes to a reduction in the ability for humans to think for themselves. The assumption is that an increased reliance on technology negates the need for people to think creatively to solve previous quandaries. Looking back at the introduction, one could argue that without a car, computer, or mobile phone, the hypothetical worker would need to find alternate methods of transport, information processing and communication. Technology short circuits this thinking by making the problems obsolete.

However, this reliance on technology does not necessarily preclude the creativity that marks the human species. The prior examples reveal that technology allows for convenience. The car, computer and phone all release additional time for people to live more efficiently. This efficiency does not preclude the need for humans to think for themselves. In fact, technology frees humanity to not only tackle new problems, but may itself create new issues that did not exist without technology. For example, the proliferation of automobiles has introduced a need for fuel conservation on a global scale. With increasing energy demands from emerging markets, global warming becomes a concern inconceivable to the horse-and-buggy generation. Likewise dependence on oil has created nation-states that are not dependent on taxation, allowing ruling parties to oppress minority groups such as women. Solutions to these complex problems require the unfettered imaginations of maverick scientists and politicians.

In contrast to the statement, we can even see how technology frees the human imagination. Consider how the digital revolution and the advent of the internet has allowed for an unprecedented exchange of ideas. WebMD, a popular internet portal for medical information, permits patients to self research symptoms for a more informed doctor visit. This exercise opens pathways of thinking that were previously closed off to the medical layman. With increased interdisciplinary interactions, inspiration can arrive from the most surprising corners. Jeffrey Sachs, one of the architects of the UN Millenium Development Goals, based his ideas on emergency care triage techniques. The unlikely marriage of economics and medicine has healed tense, hyperinflation environments from South America to Eastern Europe.

This last example provides the most hope in how technology actually provides hope to the future of humanity. By increasing our reliance on technology, impossible goals can now be achieved. Consider how the late 20th century witnessed the complete elimination of smallpox. This disease had ravaged the human race since prehistorical days, and yet with the technology of vaccines, free thinking humans dared to imagine a world free of smallpox. Using technology, battle plans were drawn out, and smallpox was systematically targeted and eradicated.

Technology will always mark the human experience, from the discovery of fire to the implementation of nanotechnology. Given the history of the human race, there will be no limit to the number of problems, both new and old, for us to tackle. There is no need to retreat to a Luddite attitude to new things, but rather embrace a hopeful posture to the possibilities that technology provides for new avenues of human imagination.

Evaluators Comments:

The author of this essay stakes out a clear and insightful position on the issue and follows the specific instructions by presenting reasons to support that position. The essay cogently argues that technology does not decrease our ability to think for ourselves, but merely provides "additional time for people to live more efficiently." In fact, the problems that have developed alongside the growth of technology (pollution, political unrest in oil-producing nations) actually call for more creative thinking, not less.

In further examples, the essay shows how technology allows for the linking of ideas that may never have been connected in the past (like medicine and economic models), pushing people to think in new ways. Examples are persuasive and fully developed; reasoning is logically sound and well supported.

Ideas in the essay are connected logically, with effective transitions used both between paragraphs ("However" or "In contrast to the statement") and within paragraphs. Sentence structure is varied and complex and the essay clearly demonstrates facility with the "conventions of standard written English (i.e., grammar, usage and mechanics)," with only minor errors appearing. Thus, this essay meets all the requirements for receiving a top score, a 6.