Hey, as part of the preparation for the GRE, I decided to improve my essay skills. If possible, could you provide me with feedback and tell me how many points I would approximately get on a test? Here is my first essay
Young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and
explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific
circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

I remember how many times i was told by the elders: if I had my brains at this age, and your body. At first, it seemed like just one of the sentences that those old geezers throw around, but unlike my peers, I decided to give it a deeper thought. And I realized that by saying that, they mean that they wish they had the wisdom that they had in the old age, combined with the youth's life energy. As a young person, we think more with hearts than with our brains and our life goals are one of the things we make in that period.
If we look around us, one of the first things we notice, is how much we are impressed with celebritites. They are everywhere around us: on our tv, in the newspapers, on bilboards, etc... And, from time to time, we hear their messages to the youth, such as : pursue your dreams and never give up. By seeing them and their lifestyles, some young people become immediately attracted towards it. They wish to become famous and popular as they are. But, on the TV screens, you do not see the struggle of those people on their way to becoming who they are. Their road to fame looks straight as a line. And young people see it as such. It also helps the certain feeling of invincibility, and that they are special, which is so common among them. And then they decide to pursue their dreams, and that pursuit crashes almost everytime. Why ? Because they thought fame and recognition will come overnight.
In you ever went through biographies of most successful men, you will notice how many of them did not achieve their success before they were well into their adulthood. But, they never gave up on their dreams, the same as of people in the paragraph above. What was different, is the reason of the goals pursuit. The successful people always had a concrete goal in front of themselves, and they decided to pursuit, no matter what the consequences. But, they knew that their road was going to be rocky, and hardly successful. But they never gave up. Why? Because they knew, that they had to go one step at a time on their road. And that each of those steps will be realistic when the time comes. In one way, that behavior is similar to the one of old people, and it gave me the final answer.
It is not about pursuing fame and recognition. They come from being successful in ones own field of work. Success does not come overnight, one should work hard, and by setting real goals in front him, after years and years of dedication, he will see that the things that were the dreams of his youth, are now at the hands reach. He may or not enjoy that fame or recognition, but he will be fulfilled. Or maybe, he will finish the climb of your dreams few steps below the top, and be fulfilled living the normal life, just like most of us do.

Second essay:
People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position,
be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

One of the greatest psychological questions is the following : is the man shaped my society, or by its own decisions. Or, in Latin, are we born as tabula rasa (blank sheet)? It is clear that none of this options is 100% percent correct, but that there exists a mix between them. The only thing that varies is to which extent both opinions are present. That also applies to our behavior.
Modern phychology says that almost all behaviors are implemented in the childhood, with most majority of them occuring before the age of five. That already gives us a good argument that most type of behaviors are unconciously accepted by example. Of course, there are some natural affinities to certain behaviors, which are presented in our DNA (for examples, amount of some hormones vastly dictates some behaviors, such as agressiveness).
How many times we heard the saying: you can't teach the old dog new tricks. It is almost the same with the human behaviour. Early on in our lives, we start to make behavioural patterns, and we tend to unconciously repeat them all the time, until we find out why are we behaving like that. If we follow the behaviors of the criminals, or other people commiting bad deeds, we notice that almost everytime, they are coming from the troubled families, were molested as yoing children, etc.It is usually about what they have learned as very young people.
But, to not make everytihng Freudian, some behaviours are determines by ones own action. But I would go as far to say, that one of the greatest deeds of man, is to decide which of his behaviours he does not like, and to change them. Such is in the case of wrong behaviours, and a children usually can not act on them. But it one of the great victories of conciesness when a grown man decides to change himself for the better, by its own, or by help of somebody else. It may sound harsh, but I would say that behaviours that a person has adopted by themselves are the result of breaking from previously established behaviors, or the naturally preferred ones, like for example, a sociopath who decided to lead an emotional life guided by its intelligence to make right decisions, not by lack of emotions. Also, almost every child molestor has been molested as a kid, and by growing up, they develop the urges to molest kids. But, most of them fight that behavior and live like the rest of us. So, for me, adopting any behaviour is a win for man over its unconciusness.
In the end, human psychology proved that we are not tabula rasa, but that we are led by example and unconcious desires, formed genetically or in the beginning of our lives, which are hard to act upon. But, unlike wild beasts, we still have some power to change our actions, and the deed of giving ourselves new behaviors in our victory over ourselves.

Any insight is vastly appreciated.