Re: Issue Task - Schools should do more to prepare students for non-aca...
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16 Jul 2022, 04:25
Opinion Essay
Assignment Score: 63.25
Statistics
1. You have written 577 words.
2. I count a total of 7 paragraphs.
3. You have written 25 sentences.
4. Your average sentence length is 23.04.
5. You have written 1 question.
6. You have used 4 first-person pronouns (I, me, my, mine).
Writing quality: 86%
Cohesion:
You have a range of transition words and cohesion devices to help your reader understand the relationship between your ideas. That's very good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Dynamism:
Your writing style is dynamic. You write a combination of short sentences and long sentences. That's very good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Provocativeness:
Your essay contains just a few words that will provoke an emotional reaction in your reader. Provocative words help to engage and sustain your reader's attention. Add more to increase your score. Here are some examples of words that provoke an emotional reaction in readers: awe-inspiring, brutal, children, danger, explode, fear, gorgeous, hoax, invasion... Your score for this feature = 60/100
Cliches:
I did not detect any cliches in your writing. No penalty was applied.
Exclamation marks:
I did not detect any exclamation marks in your writing. No penalty was applied.
Essay structure and content: 46%
Paragraph 1 - introduction: 83%
Title:
I could not detect any word with four letters or more in your title that was not capitalized. This tells me that you have capitalized your title correctly. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Opening:
I believe that schools are responsible for educating students about the aspects of life beyond academics and test scores.
I was expecting to find a question, a quote, a statistic, or an anecdote in your first sentence of your introduction. There wasn't one. Remember to use either a question, a quote, or a statistic to engage your readers attention at the beginning of your essay. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Context:
I found one or more instances of words and phrases that help to establish the importance of your topic. Good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Thesis:
However, the involvement of schools has be to very meticulously planned and executed so as to avoid a negative impact on the ones they are trying to help grow.
The last sentence uses provocative words that will make an impact on your reader. That's good. Remember that a good thesis statement should express a debatable claim that you can support with evidence and reasons. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Paragraph 2 - supporting argument: 40%
Topic sentence:
First of all, let's dicuss a few "non-academic aspects" of life.
The first sentence of this paragraph contains words that will have an impact on your reader. That's good.
Nevertheless, remember this advice: an effective topic sentence in an argument essay should make a debatable claim that the rest of the paragraph will elaborate on with reasons and examples. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Argue:
You have not used any words commonly used in argumentation. Use argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have used a word commonly used when providing support. That's good. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Paragraph 3 - supporting argument: 65%
Topic sentence:
That said, a valid question about the credibility of schools, or more specifically the people running them, is raised.
The first sentence of this paragraph contains words that will have an impact on your reader. That's good.
Nevertheless, remember this advice: an effective topic sentence in an argument essay should make a debatable claim that the rest of the paragraph will elaborate on with reasons and examples. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Argue:
You have not used any words commonly used in argumentation. Use argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Evidence:
You have used a word commonly used when giving evidence. That's good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Support:
You have used multiple words commonly used for providing support. That's excellent. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Paragraph 4 - supporting argument: 50%
Topic sentence:
Another reason why it would do wonders by paying attention to the personality development of students, is that they would feel seen and valued.
The first sentence of your first body paragraph makes a very weak claim. You can improve your score by making a strong claim in the first sentence of each body paragraph that you can elaborate on with the rest of the paragraph. Here is an example of a topic sentence that makes a strong claim: We need to tax processed food with added sugar to reduce the harm it is causing. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Argue:
You have used two words commonly used in argumentation. That's good. Use one or two more argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 80/100
Evidence:
You have used a word commonly used when giving evidence. That's good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Support:
You have not used any words commonly used for providing support. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Paragraph 5 - supporting argument: 55%
Topic sentence:
At the same time, extra involvement from schools can be seen as overstepping.
The first sentence of this paragraph contains words that will have an impact on your reader. That's good.
Nevertheless, remember this advice: an effective topic sentence in an argument essay should make a debatable claim that the rest of the paragraph will elaborate on with reasons and examples. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Argue:
You have used a word commonly used in argumentation. That's a good start. However, try to use one or two more argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have used a word commonly used when providing support. That's good. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Paragraph 6 - supporting argument: 45%
Topic sentence:
Overall, I believe, schools need to adopt a very careful approach in arriving at what they would do in order to enrich their students' awareness of how to lead wholesome lives outside academics and the workplace.
The first sentence of this paragraph contains words that will have an impact on your reader. That's good.
Nevertheless, remember this advice: an effective topic sentence in an argument essay should make a debatable claim that the rest of the paragraph will elaborate on with reasons and examples. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Argue:
You have used two words commonly used in argumentation. That's good. Use one or two more argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 80/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have not used any words commonly used for providing support. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Paragraph 7 - supporting argument: 0%
Topic sentence:
+1
The first sentence of your first body paragraph makes no claim. You can improve your score by making a strong claim in the first sentence of each body paragraph that you can elaborate on with the rest of the paragraph. Here is an example of a topic sentence that makes a strong claim: We need to tax processed food with added sugar to reduce the harm it is causing. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Argue:
You have not used any words commonly used in argumentation. Use argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have not used any words commonly used for providing support. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Paragraph 8 - conclusion: 23%
Reformulation of the thesis:
Kudos
Your reformulated thesis in your conclusion is 0% the same as your thesis statement in your introduction. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Recommendation:
The paragraph contains suggestion words like
No recommendation? I checked your conclusion for advice words to see if you had recommended a course of action to your reader. I was unable to detect any of these words and their conjugations: should, must, have to, has to, ought to, recommend, propose, encourage. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Prediction:
No prediction? I checked your conclusion for prediction words to see if you had made a prediction. I was unable to detect any of these words: will, would, going to, likely to. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Vocabulary: 86%
Argument-related words: believe, reason, so, studies
Feedback: You have used only a few words related to argumentation. Expect the minimum score for minimal effort. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Vocabulary profile:
Feedback: 62% of your essay comprises the most common 1000 words in the language. You possess a very large vocabulary and excellent academic potential. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Academic vocabulary profile: approach, area, beneficial, environment, involvement, require, section, significant, aspect, complex, consumption, impact, range, emphasis, framework, negative, valid, academic, awareness, contact, enable, expose, monitoring, impose, overall, survival
Feedback: 26% of your essay comprises words from the academic word list. You possess a very large academic vocabulary and suggests excellent academic potential. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Language Accuracy: 35%
Number of errors: 13
Feedback: I detected many errors in your writing. Reread your essay carefully and use a spell checker and grammar checker to help you identify and eliminate avoidable errors. Your score for this feature = 35/100
Grammar Check Feedback
You wrote: ...ty. However, the involvement of schools has be to very meticulously planned and execut...
Feedback: You probably need a past participle here. Try this instead: "been". (pp99)
Suggestion: been
You wrote: ...meticulously planned and executed so as to avoid a negative impact on the ones they are ...
Feedback: **You cannot use an infinitive form after a preposition. Use a gerund instead. Did you mean "so as avoiding"?
Suggestion: so as avoiding
You wrote: ... are trying to help grow. First of all, let's dicuss a few "non-academic aspects" of ...
Feedback: Did you mean this? "lets" or "let" (let's = let us; lets = 3rd person singular of 'let')?
Suggestion: lets, let
You wrote: ...rying to help grow. First of all, let's dicuss a few "non-academic aspects" of life. T...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: discuss
You wrote: ...people of all kinds, not hurting others intentionaly or unintentionally, to not getting flee...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: intentional, intentionally, intentional y
You wrote: ...e to realise that textbook knowledge is somtheing that would, if at all, enable future me...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: something, soothing, smothering, sortieing, Boithang
You wrote: ...raised. After all, different things are considered as essential by different people. Is it ri...
Feedback: You don't need the preposition "as" after "considered". Did you mean simply "considered" or "considered to be"?
Suggestion: considered, considered to be
You wrote: ... according to me, is balance. If enough work is put into deciding what is vital for ...
Feedback: Your subject "enough" is singular, so conjugate your verb accordingly: "works".
Suggestion: works
You wrote: ...nd valued. Many children don't have the priviledge of getting the required attention at ho...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: privilege
You wrote: ...on at home as their parents are working or they simply don't take as much interest...
Feedback: Use a comma before "or" between two independent clauses.
Suggestion: , or
You wrote: ...as overstepping. Parents who believe in raiseing their kids exclusively on their own, mi...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: raising, Riesling
You wrote: ...eing their kids exclusively on their own, might find it outrageous that their chi...
Feedback: Do not separate an adjective (own) from the noun it modifies (might). Remove the unnecessary comma. "their own might".
Suggestion: their own might
