Assignment Score: 57.5
Statistics
1. You have written 515 words.

2. I count a total of 6 paragraphs.

3. You have written 23 sentences.

4. Your average sentence length is 22.39.

5. You have written 0 question.

6. You have used 3 first-person pronouns (I, me, my, mine).

Writing quality: 63%
Cohesion:
You have transition words and cohesion devices in your essay to help your reader understand the relationship between your ideas. Add more transition words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of transitions that you can use are as follows: along the same lines, because of this, as an example, as an illustration, take the case of, to illustrate, as a matter of fact, there is no question that, without a doubt. Your score for this feature = 60/100

Dynamism:
Your writing style is only somewhat dynamic. Increase the variance in your sentence length by writing a combination of short sentences and long sentences to increase your score. Your score for this feature = 60/100

Provocativeness:
Your essay contains words that will provoke an emotional reaction in your reader. Provocative words help to engage and sustain your reader's attention. Add more to increase your score. Here are some examples of words that provoke an emotional reaction in readers: awe-inspiring, brutal, children, danger, explode, fear, gorgeous, hoax, invasion... Your score for this feature = 80/100

Cliches:
I did not detect any cliches in your writing. No penalty was applied.

Exclamation marks:
Do not use exclamation marks in academic writing. They make you sound overly excited and immature. Your penalty for this feature = -10

Essay structure and content: 39%
Paragraph 1 - introduction: 66%

Title:

I could not detect any word with four letters or more in your title that was not capitalized. This tells me that you have capitalized your title correctly. Your score for this feature = 100/100

Opening:
From sending letters through birds that take eons to reach to sending emails across continents in a matter of few seconds, the world has truly evolved.

I noticed that you started your essay with a short anecdote or narrative to spark interest in your topic. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100

Context:
I checked your introduction for words and phrases that writers use to establish the importance of their topic. I was unable to find any matches. Establish the importance of your topic with one of these phrases: a vital factor in, the leading cause of, widely considered to be, set to become, undergoing a revolution, is responsible for. There are others. Your score for this feature = 0/100

Thesis:
There are two reasons why I believe scientific research and development will benefit without much governmental interference.


You can improve your score for this feature of your essay by strengthening your claim. Here is an example of a debatable thesis statement that makes a strong claim: We desperately need an added-sugar tax in this country because taxing sugar will cut sales of unhealthy food and because the tax money we collect can pay to treat the diseases caused by added sugar. Your score for this feature = 0/100

Paragraph 2 - supporting argument: 30%

Topic sentence:
Governmental administration and scientific research are two distinct branches, and the people who are a part of it possess different skill sets that it doesn’t do justice if there are interferences from either side.

The first sentence of your first body paragraph makes a very weak claim. You can improve your score by making a strong claim in the first sentence of each body paragraph that you can elaborate on with the rest of the paragraph. Here is an example of a topic sentence that makes a strong claim: We need to tax processed food with added sugar to reduce the harm it is causing. Your score for this feature = 60/100

Argue:
You have used a word commonly used in argumentation. That's a good start. However, try to use one or two more argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 60/100

Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100

Support:
You have not used any words commonly used for providing support. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 0/100

Paragraph 3 - supporting argument: 30%

Topic sentence:
One classic example to this is the case of Mr Nambi Narayanan, touted as the Rocket Man of India.

The first sentence of your first body paragraph makes a very weak claim. You can improve your score by making a strong claim in the first sentence of each body paragraph that you can elaborate on with the rest of the paragraph. Here is an example of a topic sentence that makes a strong claim: We need to tax processed food with added sugar to reduce the harm it is causing. Your score for this feature = 60/100

Argue:
You have used a word commonly used in argumentation. That's a good start. However, try to use one or two more argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 60/100

Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100

Support:
You have not used any words commonly used for providing support. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 0/100

Paragraph 4 - supporting argument: 25%

Topic sentence:
The other reason why I believe scientific research and development is better off without Governmental interference is that in a democracy, ruling governments keep changing periodically.

The first sentence of your first body paragraph makes no claim. You can improve your score by making a strong claim in the first sentence of each body paragraph that you can elaborate on with the rest of the paragraph. Here is an example of a topic sentence that makes a strong claim: We need to tax processed food with added sugar to reduce the harm it is causing. Your score for this feature = 0/100

Argue:
You have used multiple words commonly used in argumentation. That's excellent. Your score for this feature = 100/100

Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100

Support:
You have not used any words commonly used for providing support. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 0/100

Paragraph 5 - supporting argument: 50%

Topic sentence:
Of course a segment of people might argue that without governmental interference, the scientists will take their own course, and might create something catastrophic, like a Nuclear project.

The first sentence of this paragraph contains words that will have an impact on your reader. That's good.

Nevertheless, remember this advice: an effective topic sentence in an argument essay should make a debatable claim that the rest of the paragraph will elaborate on with reasons and examples. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Argue:
You have used multiple words commonly used in argumentation. That's excellent. Your score for this feature = 100/100

Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100

Support:
You have not used any words commonly used for providing support. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 0/100

Paragraph 6 - conclusion: 33%

Reformulation of the thesis:
A healthy scientific research can bring a ray of hope to the world, be it a cure for HIV, eradicating hunger, creating new sources of renewable energy, etc.

Your reformulated thesis in your conclusion is 16% the same as your thesis statement in your introduction. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100

Recommendation:
The paragraph contains suggestion words like

No recommendation? I checked your conclusion for advice words to see if you had recommended a course of action to your reader. I was unable to detect any of these words and their conjugations: should, must, have to, has to, ought to, recommend, propose, encourage. Your score for this feature = 0/100

Prediction:
No prediction? I checked your conclusion for prediction words to see if you had made a prediction. I was unable to detect any of these words: will, would, going to, likely to. Your score for this feature = 0/100

Vocabulary: 93%
Argument-related words: argument, believe, reason, reasons, research, so, thus

Feedback: You have used a variety of words related to argumentation. That's good. Your score for this feature = 80/100



Vocabulary profile:

Feedback: 48% of your essay comprises the most common 1000 words in the language. You possess a very large vocabulary and excellent academic potential. Your score for this feature = 100/100



Academic vocabulary profile: benefit, create, individual, process, research, source, administration, construction, distinct, positive, potential, restriction, ensure, emerge, implement, project, energy, evolve, evolution, classic, decade, guarantee, priority, prioritize, nuclear, cease, team, intrinsic

Feedback: 28% of your essay comprises words from the academic word list. You possess a very large academic vocabulary and suggests excellent academic potential. Your score for this feature = 100/100

Language Accuracy: 35%
Number of errors: 9

Feedback: I detected many errors in your writing. Reread your essay carefully and use a spell checker and grammar checker to help you identify and eliminate avoidable errors. Your score for this feature = 35/100

Grammar Check Feedback
You wrote: ...say scientific research and development is the backbone to this evolution is an un...

Feedback: The subject "research and development" seems plural. Unless these 2 items are normally understood to be one unit, use a plural form of the verb: "are".

Suggestion: are

You wrote: ...that it doesn’t do justice if there are interferences from either side. Interference of gover...

Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found

Suggestion: interference, interference s

You wrote: ... barriers, very primarily being delayed decision making process. Scientific research and develo...

Feedback: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.

Suggestion: decision-making

You wrote: ...ss. Scientific research and development is of paramount importance to the growth o...

Feedback: The subject "research and development" seems plural. Unless these 2 items are normally understood to be one unit, use a plural form of the verb: "are".

Suggestion: are

You wrote: ...ale project to send a satellite to Mars even before any of the world superpowers wer...

Feedback: Perhaps you meant to use "even" as an adjective like this: "Mars is even".

Suggestion: Mars is even

You wrote: ... the rigors of government approvals and unseemingly cumbersome processes to get the mission...

Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found

Suggestion: unseeingly

You wrote: ...eve scientific research and development is better off without Governmental interfe...

Feedback: The subject "research and development" seems plural. Unless these 2 items are normally understood to be one unit, use a plural form of the verb: "are".

Suggestion: are

You wrote: ...ress on this front will cease to exist. Of course a segment of people might argue that with...

Feedback: Put a comma after the introductory phrase "Of course".

Suggestion: Of course

You wrote: ... to ensure the research and development is done in for positive purposes is intrin...

Feedback: The subject "research and development" seems plural. Unless these 2 items are normally understood to be one unit, use a plural form of the verb: "are".

Suggestion: are

I strongly suggest you to follow my guide located here https://gmatclub.com/forum/the-gmatclub ... 36251.html

I explain step by step an essay how must be structured

regards

Carcass, thank you so much for spending so much time and helping me with such a comprehensive feedback. I will definitely incorporate these moving forward. Very grateful to you!

I know it might not be feasible/accurate, but I just wanted to know from your perspective - how much points out of 6 would this essay have scored in actual GRE? Even a ballpark would be helpful!

Not so long, with grammar errors, the sentences could be better structured. No concession. No a clear paragraphs set up....................

no more than 4.0. 4.5 to generous