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ARGUMENT ESSAY
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03 Apr 2023, 03:08
03 Apr 2023, 03:08
The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of video rental stores. “In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore’s ten video rental stores. Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits. Last month our store in downtown Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 P.M. rather than 9:00 P.M. and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago. Therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine Movies Galore stores.”
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In the memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of video rental stores stated that one of the stores' profit declined significantly thus Movie Galore's store owner decided to lower the operation price of other nine Movie stores.There are few questions that need to be answered by the author in order to support the argument.
First, what are the reasons for not bargains, or doubling the rent amount will not help to increase the profit? This question needs to be answered by the author with relevant reasoning. Furthermore, it can be possible that the price of maintenance of stores goes up from the overall profit, which would definitely lead to loss.
Secondly, the author assumes these changes would affect the other nine stores, it can be possible that this store belongs to the rural area thus rapidly lowering their profits. Also, it is also stated with irrelevant reasoning that big Movies lower the selling will support them to increase the profit but what about the budget which needs to be put into the production of the Movies.
To conclude, there are few questions that need to be answered to make the argument more logical and coherent. However, the author believes that the revenue of each store is similar and one of the store expenditures is quite high, this question will increase more inconsistency about the structure of prompt. It can be possible that more questions need to be asked.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In the memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of video rental stores stated that one of the stores' profit declined significantly thus Movie Galore's store owner decided to lower the operation price of other nine Movie stores.There are few questions that need to be answered by the author in order to support the argument.
First, what are the reasons for not bargains, or doubling the rent amount will not help to increase the profit? This question needs to be answered by the author with relevant reasoning. Furthermore, it can be possible that the price of maintenance of stores goes up from the overall profit, which would definitely lead to loss.
Secondly, the author assumes these changes would affect the other nine stores, it can be possible that this store belongs to the rural area thus rapidly lowering their profits. Also, it is also stated with irrelevant reasoning that big Movies lower the selling will support them to increase the profit but what about the budget which needs to be put into the production of the Movies.
To conclude, there are few questions that need to be answered to make the argument more logical and coherent. However, the author believes that the revenue of each store is similar and one of the store expenditures is quite high, this question will increase more inconsistency about the structure of prompt. It can be possible that more questions need to be asked.
Re: ARGUMENT ESSAY
[#permalink]
03 Apr 2023, 04:50
03 Apr 2023, 04:50
Expert Reply
Writing quantity
1. You have written 241 words.
2. I count a total of 4 paragraphs.
3. You have written 10 sentences.
4. You have written 1 question.
Essay structure and content: 34%
Paragraph 1 - introduction: 20%
Opening:
In the memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of video rental stores stated that one of the stores' profit declined significantly thus Movie Galore's store owner decided to lower the operation price of other nine Movie stores.There are few questions that need to be answered by the author in order to support the argument.
I was expecting to find a question mark at the end of the first sentence of your introduction. There wasn't one. Remember to start your essay with a question to engage your reader's attention. Try questions like these: Have you ever seen...? or Did you know that...? Your score for this feature = 0/100
I detected one or more errors in your first sentence. That's not good. Your reader will begin reading your essay and immediately get a bad impression of your writing. Avoid scaring your reader off by checking your writing for errors. (If the system generates a false alarm, you can send an email to the contact us page with the sentence and I will fix it for you.) Your score for this feature = 0/100
Context:
I checked your introduction for words and phrases that writers use to establish the importance of their topic. I was unable to find any matches. Establish the importance of your topic with one of these phrases: a vital factor in, the leading cause of, widely considered to be, set to become, undergoing a revolution, is responsible for. Your score for this feature = 0/100
It is not clear to me which of these topics you have chosen to write about: abortion, climate change, animal rights, body image, feminism, immigration, internet censorship Your score for this feature = 0/100
Thesis:
In the memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of video rental stores stated that one of the stores' profit declined significantly thus Movie Galore's store owner decided to lower the operation price of other nine Movie stores.There are few questions that need to be answered by the author in order to support the argument.
The last sentence of your introduction incorporates characteristics of a thesis statement that should have an impact on your reader. That's good. Remember that a good thesis statement should express a succinct debatable claim with supporting reasons that you can develop with evidence and reasons. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Paragraph 2 - first supporting argument: 20%
Topic sentence:
First, what are the reasons for not bargains, or doubling the rent amount will not help to increase the profit?
Argue:
You have used multiple words commonly used in argumentation. That's excellent. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's not good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Cite sources:
You have not included an in-text citation, as far as I can tell. I was expecting to find a capitalized name (Walker) or year (2019) in parentheses in your first body paragraph. Scholars must use and cite information from reliable sources. Speak to your teacher or review the lesson in your textbook about how to cite sources within your paragraph. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have not used any words commonly used for providing support. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Paragraph 3 - second supporting argument: 52%
Topic sentence:
Secondly, the author assumes these changes would affect the other nine stores, it can be possible that this store belongs to the rural area thus rapidly lowering their profits.
The first sentence of this second body paragraph has characteristics of a strong topic sentence. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Argue:
You have used multiple words commonly used in argumentation. That's excellent. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Evidence:
You have used a word commonly used when giving evidence. That's good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Cite sources:
You have not included an in-text citation, as far as I can tell. I was expecting to find a capitalized name (Walker) or year (2019) in parentheses in your second body paragraph. Scholars must use and cite information from reliable sources. Speak to your teacher or review the lesson in your textbook about how to cite sources within your paragraph. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have not used any words commonly used for providing support. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Paragraph 4 - counterargument: 42%
Topic sentence:
To conclude, there are few questions that need to be answered to make the argument more logical and coherent.
The first sentence of this paragraph has the characteristics of a counterargument. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Counter argue:
You have not introduced an opposing view using a commonly used phrase for reporting counterarguments. Improve your score by using a phrase from among these examples: some people claim, some people say, some believe, others believe, people object to, try to refute, discount, reject, it is often argued that, the opposing view, the opposing side. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Concede:
You have not used any phrases for conceding a point to opposing side. Being able to acknowledge and concede that there is apparent merit in the opposing view, you show your reader that you are fair-minded and reasonable. Here are some phrases you can use to concede: granted, it is true that, while it is true that, naturally, indeed, to be sure, admittedly, certainly, of course, one cannot deny that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Refute:
You have used a word or phrase to signal your refutation of the opposing argument. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Cite sources:
You have not included a citation. That's not good. It is important to indicate your sources. Speak to your teacher or review the lesson in your textbook about citing sources to improve your score. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Vocabulary: 50%
Argument-related words: argument, believes, conclude, irrelevant, logical, reasons, relevant, stated, support, thus
Feedback: You have used many words related to argumentation. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Topic-related words:
Feedback: You have not used any controversy-related words in your essay that I can detect. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Works Cited Section: 0%
Language Accuracy: 100%
Number of errors: 0
Feedback: I was unable to detect any errors in your writing. This doesn't mean that your writing can't be improved, but it does suggest that you have taken care to eliminate common errors from your essay. That's very good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
1. You have written 241 words.
2. I count a total of 4 paragraphs.
3. You have written 10 sentences.
4. You have written 1 question.
Essay structure and content: 34%
Paragraph 1 - introduction: 20%
Opening:
In the memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of video rental stores stated that one of the stores' profit declined significantly thus Movie Galore's store owner decided to lower the operation price of other nine Movie stores.There are few questions that need to be answered by the author in order to support the argument.
I was expecting to find a question mark at the end of the first sentence of your introduction. There wasn't one. Remember to start your essay with a question to engage your reader's attention. Try questions like these: Have you ever seen...? or Did you know that...? Your score for this feature = 0/100
I detected one or more errors in your first sentence. That's not good. Your reader will begin reading your essay and immediately get a bad impression of your writing. Avoid scaring your reader off by checking your writing for errors. (If the system generates a false alarm, you can send an email to the contact us page with the sentence and I will fix it for you.) Your score for this feature = 0/100
Context:
I checked your introduction for words and phrases that writers use to establish the importance of their topic. I was unable to find any matches. Establish the importance of your topic with one of these phrases: a vital factor in, the leading cause of, widely considered to be, set to become, undergoing a revolution, is responsible for. Your score for this feature = 0/100
It is not clear to me which of these topics you have chosen to write about: abortion, climate change, animal rights, body image, feminism, immigration, internet censorship Your score for this feature = 0/100
Thesis:
In the memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of video rental stores stated that one of the stores' profit declined significantly thus Movie Galore's store owner decided to lower the operation price of other nine Movie stores.There are few questions that need to be answered by the author in order to support the argument.
The last sentence of your introduction incorporates characteristics of a thesis statement that should have an impact on your reader. That's good. Remember that a good thesis statement should express a succinct debatable claim with supporting reasons that you can develop with evidence and reasons. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Paragraph 2 - first supporting argument: 20%
Topic sentence:
First, what are the reasons for not bargains, or doubling the rent amount will not help to increase the profit?
Argue:
You have used multiple words commonly used in argumentation. That's excellent. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's not good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Cite sources:
You have not included an in-text citation, as far as I can tell. I was expecting to find a capitalized name (Walker) or year (2019) in parentheses in your first body paragraph. Scholars must use and cite information from reliable sources. Speak to your teacher or review the lesson in your textbook about how to cite sources within your paragraph. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have not used any words commonly used for providing support. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Paragraph 3 - second supporting argument: 52%
Topic sentence:
Secondly, the author assumes these changes would affect the other nine stores, it can be possible that this store belongs to the rural area thus rapidly lowering their profits.
The first sentence of this second body paragraph has characteristics of a strong topic sentence. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Argue:
You have used multiple words commonly used in argumentation. That's excellent. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Evidence:
You have used a word commonly used when giving evidence. That's good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Cite sources:
You have not included an in-text citation, as far as I can tell. I was expecting to find a capitalized name (Walker) or year (2019) in parentheses in your second body paragraph. Scholars must use and cite information from reliable sources. Speak to your teacher or review the lesson in your textbook about how to cite sources within your paragraph. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have not used any words commonly used for providing support. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Paragraph 4 - counterargument: 42%
Topic sentence:
To conclude, there are few questions that need to be answered to make the argument more logical and coherent.
The first sentence of this paragraph has the characteristics of a counterargument. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Counter argue:
You have not introduced an opposing view using a commonly used phrase for reporting counterarguments. Improve your score by using a phrase from among these examples: some people claim, some people say, some believe, others believe, people object to, try to refute, discount, reject, it is often argued that, the opposing view, the opposing side. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Concede:
You have not used any phrases for conceding a point to opposing side. Being able to acknowledge and concede that there is apparent merit in the opposing view, you show your reader that you are fair-minded and reasonable. Here are some phrases you can use to concede: granted, it is true that, while it is true that, naturally, indeed, to be sure, admittedly, certainly, of course, one cannot deny that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Refute:
You have used a word or phrase to signal your refutation of the opposing argument. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Cite sources:
You have not included a citation. That's not good. It is important to indicate your sources. Speak to your teacher or review the lesson in your textbook about citing sources to improve your score. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Vocabulary: 50%
Argument-related words: argument, believes, conclude, irrelevant, logical, reasons, relevant, stated, support, thus
Feedback: You have used many words related to argumentation. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Topic-related words:
Feedback: You have not used any controversy-related words in your essay that I can detect. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Works Cited Section: 0%
Language Accuracy: 100%
Number of errors: 0
Feedback: I was unable to detect any errors in your writing. This doesn't mean that your writing can't be improved, but it does suggest that you have taken care to eliminate common errors from your essay. That's very good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Re: ARGUMENT ESSAY
[#permalink]
03 Apr 2023, 04:50
03 Apr 2023, 04:50
Expert Reply
Not really the best essay you could write
