Hi! I'm also a student trying to take GRE, but I hope I can provide some useful insights
In the 2nd para, you talk about whether OB method is representative to the whole population. The details are well explained, though the conclusion of this para seems a bit off. Instead of saying whether OB method is valid or not, I suggest you try to conclude it by saying something like "Dr.Karp's method is better/worse than Dr.Field's if OB method is valid/not" since the focus of this topic is to provide evidence whether Dr.Karp's conclusion is based on reasonable arguments (correct me if I'm wrong).
Also, try to focus on the data provided in the topic. It says that Dr.Field's visited and concluded his observations 20 years ago, so I don't think OB method can be done in over 50 years (in the 3rd para). Instead, perhaps you can argue that "the result of the observation twenty years ago may not apply today, since some significant changes may happen in Tertia throughout the years". By the way, I love the transition between your 2nd and 3rd para.
As for the 4th para, the question
"how does the content collected from the IC method compare to the content of other IC method studies on the Tertain or other island cultures?" is a little bit confusing when compared with your conclusion in this para. You say in the conclusion that Dr.Karp's method has to be validated through other studies, so I assume that to strengthen the author's argument, other IC method studies have to validate Dr.Karp method. However, how does the comparison between Dr.Karp's method and other IC method studies validates Dr.Karp's method? Perhaps you can shed some light to this question
There are some errors, but I can still understand your intention. However, I suggest to do some error checking.
Also, try to include conclusion. It may have been better to have a short conclusion than nothing at all (just paraphrase your intro if you're running out of time).
This topic also has sample responses from ETS, and so maybe you can compare it with yours. Good luck!!