Please help me judge the following essay:

Argument-
The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.

"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

My essay-
Stated as above, the recommendation provided by the Board of Directors of Monarch Books is based on unwarranted assumptions. Primarily, the argument readily assumes that including a cafe section in their well established bookstore would attract more customers without providing solid evidence on why that final conclusion was made.

In the argument, it is suggested that the cafe would allow Monarch books to rise to the competition with Regal Books, however, insufficient information is provided regarding the condition and state of Regal Books. Hence, there is no clear evidence upon which the reader can compare Regal Books to Monarch Books. For example, it is stated in the argument that Monarch Books dates back to approximately two decades and stands upon a large customer base. On the other hand, no information is provided regarding the date at which Regal Books opened to customers. To bolster this assumption, the argument must provide descriptive information regarding Regal Books such as the size of their customer base in comparison to Monarch Books, the age of the store, the location and distance from Monarch books, and, most importantly, whether introducing a cafe at Regal Books has successfully increased its customers.

Furthermore, the recommendation states that the children books' section is to be replaced with a cafe based on the decline in the national population under the age of ten. Stated in that manner, this assumption raises multiple skeptical questions which must be verified to strengthen the argument. To further illustrate, the argument must provide information regarding the demographics of Monarch Books' customer base, as this will significantly affect the books of a higher priority at the store. In the case where the best selling section is the children's category, exchanging this genre with a cafe would plummet the sales of Monarch Books instead of precipitate success. Moreover, despite the decline in the national number of children below the age of ten, the specific statistics of the surrounding geographical region of Monarch books is not mentioned.

In conclusion, the argument fails to state why adding a cafe section would increase the number of customers. There is no concrete foundation upon which such assumption stands. To elucidate a clearer vision of whether a cafe section would be beneficial, a survey can be carried out through which the customers are inquired about their preferences of having a cafe introduced and which section would they suggest should be replaced.