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Re: Argument Task - Twenty years ago, Dr. Field, a noted anthropologist... [#permalink]
Sorry, while editing to quote the question, it got reposted and I could not find the delete button. Sorry for inconvenience
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Re: Argument Task - Twenty years ago, Dr. Field, a noted anthropologist... [#permalink]
Please rate my essay on a scale of 1-6.Thanks!
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Re: Argument Task - Twenty years ago, Dr. Field, a noted anthropologist... [#permalink]
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Argument Essay
Assignment Score: 32
Writing quantity
1. You have written 618 words.

2. I count a total of 5 paragraphs.

3. You have written 36 sentences.

4. You have written 1 question.

Essay structure and content: 43%
Paragraph 1 - introduction: 52%

Opening:
The given argument states Dr.

I was expecting to find a question mark at the end of the first sentence of your introduction. There wasn't one. Remember to start your essay with a question to engage your reader's attention. Try questions like these: Have you ever seen...? or Did you know that...? Your score for this feature = 0/100


I was unable to detect any errors in your first sentence. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100

Context:
I checked your introduction for words and phrases that writers use to establish the importance of their topic. I was unable to find any matches. Establish the importance of your topic with one of these phrases: a vital factor in, the leading cause of, widely considered to be, set to become, undergoing a revolution, is responsible for. Your score for this feature = 0/100


You have chosen abortion as your topic, but your introduction only contains one abortion-related word. Use more for a higher score. Here are some words I expected to encounter in a discussion on this topic: abort, birth, fetus, pregnancy, termination, unborn, unwanted. Your score for this feature = 60/100

Thesis:
Reasons with suitable examples are provided below.


The last sentence of your introduction incorporates characteristics of a thesis statement that should have an impact on your reader. That's good. Remember that a good thesis statement should express a succinct debatable claim with supporting reasons that you can develop with evidence and reasons. Your score for this feature = 100/100

Paragraph 2 - first supporting argument: 20%

Topic sentence:
Though the children were talking more about their biological parents than other adults of the village, it does not necessarily imply that they were not reared by other members of the village.

The first sentence of your first body paragraph lacks the characteristics of a strong topic sentence.


You can improve your score by making a succinct debatable claim in the first sentence of each body paragraph that you can elaborate on with the rest of the paragraph.

Here is an example of a topic sentence that makes a strong claim: Above all, we need to tax processed food with added sugar to reduce the harm it is causing.

Here is another example: First of all, internet censorship is bad for business. .

Your score for this feature = 0/100
Argue:
You have used multiple words commonly used in argumentation. That's excellent. Your score for this feature = 100/100

Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's not good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100

Cite sources:
You have not included an in-text citation, as far as I can tell. I was expecting to find a capitalized name (Walker) or year (2019) in parentheses in your first body paragraph. Scholars must use and cite information from reliable sources. Speak to your teacher or review the lesson in your textbook about how to cite sources within your paragraph. Your score for this feature = 0/100

Support:
You have not used any words commonly used for providing support. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 0/100

Paragraph 3 - second supporting argument: 36%

Topic sentence:
Also, Dr Karp says that village children of the island group including Tertia talked more about their biological parents.

The first sentence of this second body paragraph has characteristics of a strong topic sentence. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100

Argue:
You have used two words commonly used in argumentation. That's good. Use one or two more argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 80/100

Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's not good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100

Cite sources:
You have not included an in-text citation, as far as I can tell. I was expecting to find a capitalized name (Walker) or year (2019) in parentheses in your second body paragraph. Scholars must use and cite information from reliable sources. Speak to your teacher or review the lesson in your textbook about how to cite sources within your paragraph. Your score for this feature = 0/100

Support:
You have not used any words commonly used for providing support. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 0/100

Paragraph 4 - counterargument: 40%

Topic sentence:
Dr.

The first sentence of your third body paragraph lacks the characteristics of a succinct statement of a popular counterargument. Try to improve it.


For example, you could write something like this: Some people claim that a tax on food additives will hurt the poorest segment of society the most by making food more expensive.

Here is another example: Some people say that we need censorship to control the spread of fake news. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Counter argue:
You have introduced an opposing view using a commonly used phrase for reporting counterarguments. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100

Concede:
You have not used any phrases for conceding a point to opposing side. Being able to acknowledge and concede that there is apparent merit in the opposing view, you show your reader that you are fair-minded and reasonable. Here are some phrases you can use to concede: granted, it is true that, while it is true that, naturally, indeed, to be sure, admittedly, certainly, of course, one cannot deny that. Your score for this feature = 0/100

Refute:
You have used a word or phrase to signal your refutation of the opposing argument. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100

Cite sources:
You have not included a citation. That's not good. It is important to indicate your sources. Speak to your teacher or review the lesson in your textbook about citing sources to improve your score. Your score for this feature = 0/100

Conclusion: 66%

Reformulation of the thesis:
Considering the above reasons, we can say that Dr.

Your reformulated thesis in your conclusion is 0% the same as your thesis statement in your introduction. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100


The first sentence of your conclusion takes a strong stance. That's very good. Your score for this feature = 100/100

Recommendation:
The paragraph contains suggestion words like .


No recommendation? I checked your conclusion for advice words to see if you had recommended a course of action to your reader. I was unable to detect any of these words and their conjugations: should, must, have to, has to, ought to, recommend, propose, encourage. Your score for this feature = 0/100

Prediction:
The paragraph contains prediction words like .


No prediction? I checked your conclusion for prediction words to see if you had made a prediction. I was unable to detect any of these words: will, would, going to, likely to. Your score for this feature = 0/100

Vocabulary: 50%
Argument-related words: argument, because, claim, conclusion, fact, reasons, since, so, states, therefore, true

Feedback: You have used many words related to argumentation. Your score for this feature = 100/100



Topic-related words:

Feedback: You have not used any controversy-related words in your essay that I can detect. Your score for this feature = 0/100

Works Cited Section: 0%
Language Accuracy: 35%
Number of errors: 19

Feedback: I detected many errors in your writing. Reread your essay carefully and use a spell checker and grammar checker to help you identify and eliminate avoidable errors. Your score for this feature = 35/100

Grammar Check Feedback
You wrote: The given argument states Dr. Karp's claim, that - Dr. Field's conclusion ...

Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found

Suggestion: Karl, Harp, Carp, Warp, ARP, Kara, Kart, Earp, Kari, Karo, Tarp, MARP, TARP, Karn

You wrote: ...- Dr. Field's conclusion of children in Tertia village being reared by the entire vill...

Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found

Suggestion: Serbia, Tertiary, Persia, Teresa, Terra, Inertia, Bertha, Bertie, Mercia, Hernia, Teri, Terri, Tetra, Beria, Berta, Portia, Terrie, ESTIA, TETRA, Testis, Béria, Hertha, Sertic, Tecia, Terim, Tewthia

You wrote: ...rtia village being reared by the entire village than their own biological parents; is i...

Feedback: Use a comparative form.

Suggestion: villager, more village

You wrote: ...aditions. The argument, however, is not well supported owing to the unstated assumptions of th...

Feedback: These two words are usually written together with a hyphen. Did you mean "well-supported"?

Suggestion: well-supported

You wrote: ...red by other members of the village. It may in fact be possible that the children g...

Feedback: Always capitalize the months of the year. For this reason, the word "may" should be uppercase.

Suggestion: May

You wrote: ... members of the village. It may in fact be possible that the children gained most ...

Feedback: You have a problem with your verb agreement. The uncountable noun "fact" must be used with a third-person verb "is" or a past tense verb "waswere."

Suggestion: is, was, were

You wrote: ... the case that before appearing for Dr. Karp's interview, they were taught how to ta...

Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found

Suggestion: Karl, Harp, Carp, Warp, ARP, Kara, Kart, Earp, Kari, Karo, Tarp, MARP, TARP, Karn

You wrote: ...iews might not be the true portrayal of Tertia village's culture. A suitable example o...

Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found

Suggestion: Serbia, Tertiary, Persia, Teresa, Terra, Inertia, Bertha, Bertie, Mercia, Hernia, Teri, Terri, Tetra, Beria, Berta, Portia, Terrie, ESTIA, TETRA, Testis, Béria, Hertha, Sertic, Tecia, Terim, Tewthia

You wrote: ...n, having a computer was very expensive so she had only interacted with her father...

Feedback: Use a comma before "so" between two independent clauses.

Suggestion: , so

You wrote: ... all they knew about her father to her. Shalini used to talk a lot about her father bec...

Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found

Suggestion: Shamini

You wrote: ... children of the island group including Tertia talked more about their biological pare...

Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found

Suggestion: Serbia, Tertiary, Persia, Teresa, Terra, Inertia, Bertha, Bertie, Mercia, Hernia, Teri, Terri, Tetra, Beria, Berta, Portia, Terrie, ESTIA, TETRA, Testis, Béria, Hertha, Sertic, Tecia, Terim, Tewthia

You wrote: ...nterviewed, the number of children from Tertia island was minimal and they did not tal...

Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found

Suggestion: Serbia, Tertiary, Persia, Teresa, Terra, Inertia, Bertha, Bertie, Mercia, Hernia, Teri, Terri, Tetra, Beria, Berta, Portia, Terrie, ESTIA, TETRA, Testis, Béria, Hertha, Sertic, Tecia, Terim, Tewthia

You wrote: ...children from Tertia island was minimal and they did not talk much about their pare...

Feedback: Use a comma before "and" between two independent clauses.

Suggestion: , and

You wrote: ...about their parents but since they were less in number, their responses went unnoticed. Dr. Ka...

Feedback: A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.

Suggestion: less

You wrote: ...er, their responses went unnoticed. Dr. Karp suggests that the interview-centered me...

Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found

Suggestion: Karl, Harp, Carp, Warp, ARP, Kara, Kart, Earp, Kari, Karo, Tarp, MARP, TARP, Karn

You wrote: ...times, so it would be difficult for Dr. Karp to reserve so many days for these inter...

Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found

Suggestion: Karl, Harp, Carp, Warp, ARP, Kara, Kart, Earp, Kari, Karo, Tarp, MARP, TARP, Karn

You wrote: ... the above reasons, we can say that Dr. Karp's argument does not make a strong case....

Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found

Suggestion: Karl, Harp, Carp, Warp, ARP, Kara, Kart, Earp, Kari, Karo, Tarp, MARP, TARP, Karn

You wrote: ...ot make a strong case. If he interviews a large number of children from Tertia village solely and...

Feedback: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"

Suggestion: many, numerous

You wrote: ...erviews a large number of children from Tertia village solely and confirms the intervi...

Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found

Suggestion: Serbia, Tertiary, Persia, Teresa, Terra, Inertia, Bertha, Bertie, Mercia, Hernia, Teri, Terri, Tetra, Beria, Berta, Portia, Terrie, ESTIA, TETRA, Testis, Béria, Hertha, Sertic, Tecia, Terim, Tewthia
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Re: Argument Task - Twenty years ago, Dr. Field, a noted anthropologist... [#permalink]
Expert Reply
No more than 4 at the very most

:thumbsup:
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Re: Argument Task - Twenty years ago, Dr. Field, a noted anthropologist... [#permalink]
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Thanks a lot, will work on the suggestions.
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Re: Argument Task - Twenty years ago, Dr. Field, a noted anthropologist... [#permalink]
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Re: Argument Task - Twenty years ago, Dr. Field, a noted anthropologist... [#permalink]
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