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Pls rate my awa [#permalink]
Corporations plays major role in any nations economy. It is completely obvious that their main goal is profits, but the question arises that whether corporations should only be focused on making huge amounts of money or they should also pay some attention to their the well-being of their surroundings. In my opinion it is the duty of each company to think about the environment it is working in. The various reasons and examples to support my viewpoint have been further elaborated.

Firstly, it starts with well-being of its employees. A company should be responsible for the health of its own employees, along with physical health they should also take in consideration of their mental health. It is essential to be physically and mentally fit to work properly. Companies should not force their workers to work for extra hours. This can lead to insufficient sleep which can cause stress and anxiety to a person. Corporations should also run multiple program in which employees can enhance their skill so that they can perform efficiently.

Secondly, every business should have ethics to not to exploit any the environment they are working in especially for those industries which create huge amount of air and noise pollutions. Instead of throwing the waste in rivers they should treat it as these can have adverse effects on people dependent on that water body. It also causes the danger to the aquatic life present in that river. For instance, consider the example of chemical industries near taj mahal which used to cause too much air pollution also polluting the Yamuna river.

Lastly, it will be create a positive impact for the company if it helps in promoting the well-being of their environment. People tend to grow their trust in such type of companies. For example, mama earth a skin care company which started the scheme that on selling a particular amount of their products they will grow a tree which helped them to boost their progress. This step increased their fame and more and more people bought their products. Thus, it is said if you do good, good will come to you.

To summarize the discussion it can be stated that the corporations should promote the well-being of the society and environment in which they are working. I completely support this viewpoint due to various reasons.
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Re: Issue Task - Some people believe that corporations have a re [#permalink]
Expert Reply
Assignment Score: 68.5
Statistics
1. You have written 388 words.

2. I count a total of 5 paragraphs.

3. You have written 21 sentences.

4. Your average sentence length is 18.48.

5. You have written 0 question.

6. You have used 3 first-person pronouns (I, me, my, mine).

Writing quality: 93%
Cohesion:
You have a range of transition words and cohesion devices to help your reader understand the relationship between your ideas. That's very good. Your score for this feature = 100/100

Dynamism:
Your writing style is quite dynamic. You write a variety of short sentences and long sentences. Increase the variance in your sentence length to increase your score. Your score for this feature = 80/100

Provocativeness:
Your essay contains many words that will provoke an emotional reaction in your reader. That's good. It will help to engage and sustain your reader's attention. Your score for this feature = 100/100

Cliches:
I did not detect any cliches in your writing. No penalty was applied.

Exclamation marks:
I did not detect any exclamation marks in your writing. No penalty was applied.

Essay structure and content: 53%
Paragraph 1 - introduction: 66%

Title:

I could not detect any word with four letters or more in your title that was not capitalized. This tells me that you have capitalized your title correctly. Your score for this feature = 100/100

Opening:
Corporations plays major role in any nations economy.

I was expecting to find a question, a quote, a statistic, or an anecdote in your first sentence of your introduction. There wasn't one. Remember to use either a question, a quote, or a statistic to engage your readers attention at the beginning of your essay. Your score for this feature = 0/100

Context:
I checked your introduction for words and phrases that writers use to establish the importance of their topic. I was unable to find any matches. Establish the importance of your topic with one of these phrases: a vital factor in, the leading cause of, widely considered to be, set to become, undergoing a revolution, is responsible for. There are others. Your score for this feature = 0/100

Thesis:
The various reasons and examples to support my viewpoint have been further elaborated.


The last sentence uses provocative words that will make an impact on your reader. That's good. Remember that a good thesis statement should express a debatable claim that you can support with evidence and reasons. Your score for this feature = 100/100

Paragraph 2 - supporting argument: 45%

Topic sentence:
Firstly, it starts with well-being of its employees.

The first sentence of this paragraph contains words that will have an impact on your reader. That's good.

Nevertheless, remember this advice: an effective topic sentence in an argument essay should make a debatable claim that the rest of the paragraph will elaborate on with reasons and examples. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Argue:
You have used two words commonly used in argumentation. That's good. Use one or two more argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 80/100

Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100

Support:
You have not used any words commonly used for providing support. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 0/100

Paragraph 3 - supporting argument: 45%

Topic sentence:
Secondly, every business should have ethics to not to exploit any the environment they are working in especially for those industries which create huge amount of air and noise pollutions.

The first sentence of this paragraph contains words that will have an impact on your reader. That's good.

Nevertheless, remember this advice: an effective topic sentence in an argument essay should make a debatable claim that the rest of the paragraph will elaborate on with reasons and examples. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Argue:
You have not used any words commonly used in argumentation. Use argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 0/100

Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100

Support:
You have used two words commonly used for providing support. That's good. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 80/100

Paragraph 4 - supporting argument: 50%

Topic sentence:
Lastly, it will be create a positive impact for the company if it helps in promoting the well-being of their environment.

The first sentence of your first body paragraph contains words that will have an impact on your reader. That's good. You can improve this feature of your essay by strengthening your claim with provocative words.

Here is an example of a topic sentence that makes a strong claim: We need to tax processed food with added sugar to reduce the harm it is causing. Your score for this feature = 80/100
Argue:
You have used a word commonly used in argumentation. That's a good start. However, try to use one or two more argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 60/100

Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100

Support:
You have used a word commonly used when providing support. That's good. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 60/100

Paragraph 5 - conclusion: 66%

Reformulation of the thesis:
To summarize the discussion it can be stated that the corporations should promote the well-being of the society and environment in which they are working.

Your reformulated thesis in your conclusion is 0% the same as your thesis statement in your introduction. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100

Recommendation:
The paragraph contains suggestion words like should

You made a recommendation. That's good. It is a good practice in an essay of this type to recommend a course of action to your reader. Your score for this feature = 100/100

Prediction:
No prediction? I checked your conclusion for prediction words to see if you had made a prediction. I was unable to detect any of these words: will, would, going to, likely to. Your score for this feature = 0/100

Vocabulary: 93%
Argument-related words: insufficient, opinion, reasons, so, stated, support, thus

Feedback: You have used a variety of words related to argumentation. That's good. Your score for this feature = 80/100



Vocabulary profile:

Feedback: 61% of your essay comprises the most common 1000 words in the language. You possess a very large vocabulary and excellent academic potential. Your score for this feature = 100/100



Academic vocabulary profile: create, economy, environment, major, role, focus, impact, positive, corporation, instance, physical, scheme, insufficient, goal, obvious, promote, stress, summarize, mental, enhance, chemical, exploit, ethic

Feedback: 23% of your essay comprises words from the academic word list. You possess a very large academic vocabulary and suggests excellent academic potential. Your score for this feature = 100/100

Language Accuracy: 35%
Number of errors: 10

Feedback: I detected many errors in your writing. Reread your essay carefully and use a spell checker and grammar checker to help you identify and eliminate avoidable errors. Your score for this feature = 35/100

Grammar Check Feedback
You wrote: Corporations plays major role in any nations economy. It is completel...

Feedback: You need an article or a plural. Revise: "a major role" or "major roles". (3)

Suggestion: a major role, major roles

You wrote: Corporations plays major role in any nations economy. It is completely obvious that ...

Feedback: An apostrophe seems to be missing. Use the possessive form here: "nations' economy" or when its only one nation, "nation's economy"? (Ap03)

Suggestion: nations' economy, nation's economy

You wrote: ...r the well-being of their surroundings. In my opinion it is the duty of each company to think about...

Feedback: Put a comma after introductory prepositional phrases. Did you mean " In my opinion, it is"?

Suggestion: In my opinion, it is

You wrote: ...h physical health they should also take in consideration of their mental health. I...

Feedback: You have used the wrong preposition in this phrase.

Suggestion: take into consideration

You wrote: ...ich create huge amount of air and noise pollutions. Instead of throwing the waste in river...

Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found

Suggestion: pollution, pollution s

You wrote: ...it as these can have adverse effects on people dependent on that water body. It also c...

Feedback: Use an apostrophe +s to show possession. The dependent belong to , right?

Suggestion: on people's dependent, on peoples's dependent, on persons's dependent

You wrote: ...the example of chemical industries near taj mahal which used to cause too much air ...

Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found

Suggestion: TAJ, tax, tag, tan, tap, ta, tab, tar, TAC, Tao, tau, tam, tat, tad, AAJ, AJ, CAJ, DAJ, MAJ, Maj, PAJ, RAJ, SAJ, T7J, TA, TAA, TAD, TAE, TAF, TAG, TAH, TAI, TAM, TAN, TAO, TAP, TAT, TBJ, TJ, TJJ, TMJ, TPJ, Ta, Tad, haj, ta j, Taj, Raj, Tah, Teik

You wrote: ...example of chemical industries near taj mahal which used to cause too much air pollut...

Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found

Suggestion: Mahal, Pahal

You wrote: ... polluting the Yamuna river. Lastly, it will be create a positive impact for the company if it...

Feedback: You need a participle after "will be." Do you mean "will be created", "will be creating" or simply "will create"?

Suggestion: will be created, will be creating, will create

You wrote: ...in such type of companies. For example, mama earth a skin care company which started...

Feedback: Use a plural when you mean more than one or for all mamas in general.

Suggestion: mamas
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