Hello everyone,
Kindly rate my essay. Please point out all my mistakes and any improvements that can be made.

Thanks in advance.

Issue
The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

My Response:
The issue on istilling a sense of cooperation and not competition is the best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in various fields is a contentious one. While there are strengths and weaknesses to both sides, I believe that the best way to prepare young people in a society is by instilling cooperation rather than competition because cooperation among individuals will lead to an harmonious society. Furthermore, Working together will always lead to developing better ideas and aid in achieving a greater economy.

Firstly, by instilling a sense of cooperation in the young people, a society prepares them to face any challenges with a team spirit. For example, in politics, people can be cooperative of each other to success a common goal, instead of fighting for it separately. Clearly, a sense of team spirit helps in building an harmonious society. Another instance, in industries, people can work together in attaining the company's objective rather than indulging in a competitive rat race. Moreover, When a sense of cooperation is made universal, several quarrels and wars can be avoided.

Secondly, when a sense of cooperation is instilled, people are more likely to think together in order to overcome the challlenges faced. More producitivity can be achieved when more people are working together on a single task. As the popular saying goes "Two brains are always better than one". Evidently, This can be crucial in modern industrial environments. For example, As people work in groups to tackle a given task, it is possible that the task is completed by the group of people working together. Moreover, Working in groups can be encouraged to tackle any task at hand faster and in a more efficient manner.

On the contrary, One might argue that the world is always about the survival of the fittest. Clearly, It cannot be applied to all the situations alike. Whilst some situations does indeed require a sense of competition to succeed, there are alternative ways to achieve the same with harmony. For example, Companies can be competitive to develop a product to challenge its competitors, or work in harmony to develop better products. By working in harmony, people can develop products in a more efficient way than by working as competitors. Moreover, people are unfettered to the amount of ideas that be contemplated when working together. which thereby, increases the overall quality of the prodcut.

In conclusion, due to the aforementioned reasons, I believe that sense of cooperation is more important that a sense of competition in the society .