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Urgent please review my AWA issue task (first time)
[#permalink]
15 Aug 2020, 05:53
15 Aug 2020, 05:53
The surest indicator of a great nation is represented not by the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists, but by the general welfare of its people.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
In today’s world, every nations are competing with each other to prove themselves the best .I agree with the above claim by author that states the greatest nation is measured on terms of general welfare of its people rather than one’s achievement.
The nation is said to be great if people work in collaboration,overcome the common obstacle faced by all and providing the solution to the problems.There are many people with great achievements tend to show there pride rather than helping other who stuck in problem. For example, Mahatma Gandhiji didn’t have any achievement in his life but his sheer willingness to help other people who are stuck in the problem is globally known.Nation’s greatest achievement is not the one with the popular scholars but with maintaining the good welfare of the people in society.
Considering the scholar’s achievement as factor to decide the greatest nation is invalid.For example, Mr Vijay Mallya was a kingfisher airline owner but his image was quite not good as he was not helping his own employees in difficulties resulting to the declining of his era.Many people tend to show their pride with the achievements which is considered quiet toxic in the society.
In crux, the above statement is valid and totally agreeable as people achievement tends to go waste if they don’t apply their skills in solving the problems of the other people that helps to maintain general welfare of the society thus contributes as a important indicator of the great nation.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
In today’s world, every nations are competing with each other to prove themselves the best .I agree with the above claim by author that states the greatest nation is measured on terms of general welfare of its people rather than one’s achievement.
The nation is said to be great if people work in collaboration,overcome the common obstacle faced by all and providing the solution to the problems.There are many people with great achievements tend to show there pride rather than helping other who stuck in problem. For example, Mahatma Gandhiji didn’t have any achievement in his life but his sheer willingness to help other people who are stuck in the problem is globally known.Nation’s greatest achievement is not the one with the popular scholars but with maintaining the good welfare of the people in society.
Considering the scholar’s achievement as factor to decide the greatest nation is invalid.For example, Mr Vijay Mallya was a kingfisher airline owner but his image was quite not good as he was not helping his own employees in difficulties resulting to the declining of his era.Many people tend to show their pride with the achievements which is considered quiet toxic in the society.
In crux, the above statement is valid and totally agreeable as people achievement tends to go waste if they don’t apply their skills in solving the problems of the other people that helps to maintain general welfare of the society thus contributes as a important indicator of the great nation.
Re: Urgent please review my AWA issue task (first time)
[#permalink]
15 Aug 2020, 20:25
15 Aug 2020, 20:25
1
I would grade it a 2. Some grammatical errors are forgiven, unless they are excessive and interfere with understanding. Unfortunately, there are too many here to overlook. It does not demonstrate a command of the language. Even if you are not a native speaker, you should proofread so you don't have mistakes like putting a space before a period.
Although you make your affirmative position clear, there are not enough fully developed examples, and you fail to consider any positives of the opposing argument or any negatives to your own argument. You don't define your terms, such as, what is meant by general welfare of the people? How do you measure it?
I would expect an essay at the graduate level to be something publishable in a newspaper opinion page or a short magazine article. I don't see any of those publishing this. Look at some published essays that discuss what makes a country great and see how they differ. Analyze them, and practice.
Although you make your affirmative position clear, there are not enough fully developed examples, and you fail to consider any positives of the opposing argument or any negatives to your own argument. You don't define your terms, such as, what is meant by general welfare of the people? How do you measure it?
I would expect an essay at the graduate level to be something publishable in a newspaper opinion page or a short magazine article. I don't see any of those publishing this. Look at some published essays that discuss what makes a country great and see how they differ. Analyze them, and practice.
mitdani wrote:
The surest indicator of a great nation is represented not by the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists, but by the general welfare of its people.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
In today’s world, every nations are competing with each other to prove themselves the best .I agree with the above claim by author that states the greatest nation is measured on terms of general welfare of its people rather than one’s achievement.
The nation is said to be great if people work in collaboration,overcome the common obstacle faced by all and providing the solution to the problems.There are many people with great achievements tend to show there pride rather than helping other who stuck in problem. For example, Mahatma Gandhiji didn’t have any achievement in his life but his sheer willingness to help other people who are stuck in the problem is globally known.Nation’s greatest achievement is not the one with the popular scholars but with maintaining the good welfare of the people in society.
Considering the scholar’s achievement as factor to decide the greatest nation is invalid.For example, Mr Vijay Mallya was a kingfisher airline owner but his image was quite not good as he was not helping his own employees in difficulties resulting to the declining of his era.Many people tend to show their pride with the achievements which is considered quiet toxic in the society.
In crux, the above statement is valid and totally agreeable as people achievement tends to go waste if they don’t apply their skills in solving the problems of the other people that helps to maintain general welfare of the society thus contributes as a important indicator of the great nation.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
In today’s world, every nations are competing with each other to prove themselves the best .I agree with the above claim by author that states the greatest nation is measured on terms of general welfare of its people rather than one’s achievement.
The nation is said to be great if people work in collaboration,overcome the common obstacle faced by all and providing the solution to the problems.There are many people with great achievements tend to show there pride rather than helping other who stuck in problem. For example, Mahatma Gandhiji didn’t have any achievement in his life but his sheer willingness to help other people who are stuck in the problem is globally known.Nation’s greatest achievement is not the one with the popular scholars but with maintaining the good welfare of the people in society.
Considering the scholar’s achievement as factor to decide the greatest nation is invalid.For example, Mr Vijay Mallya was a kingfisher airline owner but his image was quite not good as he was not helping his own employees in difficulties resulting to the declining of his era.Many people tend to show their pride with the achievements which is considered quiet toxic in the society.
In crux, the above statement is valid and totally agreeable as people achievement tends to go waste if they don’t apply their skills in solving the problems of the other people that helps to maintain general welfare of the society thus contributes as a important indicator of the great nation.
gmatclubot
Re: Urgent please review my AWA issue task (first time) [#permalink]
15 Aug 2020, 20:25
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