Hi, I started my AWA practice today and this is my first argument essay. It took me 45mins to complete this, I know I'm supposed to complete it in 30mins but I just wanted to complete it. Please provide feedback and if possible rate it out of 6. Any suggestions/tips are appreciated. I plan to take the test on 12th September.
Quote:
The following is part of a memorandum from the president of Humana University.
"Last year the number of students who enrolled in online degree programs offered by nearby Omni University increased by 50 percent. During the same year, Omni showed a significant decrease from prior years in expenditures for dormitory and classroom space, most likely because online instruction takes place via the Internet. In contrast, over the past three years, enrollment at Humana University has failed to grow and the cost of maintaining buildings has increased. Thus, to increase enrollment and solve the problem of budget deficits at Humana University, we should initiate and actively promote online degree programs like those at Omni."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
In the memorandum presented by the president of Humana University, the author concludes that in order to increase the enrollment of students in programs at Humana and to solve the financial problem of maintaining buildings, the university should emphasise more on promoting online degree programs like the nearby Omni University. The author came to this conclusion on the basis of few assumptions. However, careful scrutiny of the evidence reveals that it provides little credible support for the author's recommendation. Hence, the argument can be considered incomplete or unsubstantiated.
First of all, the argument readily assumes that the number of students enrolled in the program offered by Omni is significant. This is merely an assumption made without much solid ground. The author assumed this due to a 50% increase in the enrollment of students in online degree programs offered by Omni University in the previous year. However, it could be possible that the usual intake of students in Omni is tantamount to just 6-10 students and in the previous year, it increased to 50% making it to 9-15 students. Whereas, the general enrollment of students in Humana University could be ranging from hundreds to thousands of students. Hence, the argument would have been much more convincing if it explicitly stated the average number of students enrolled in both the universities for the past 3-5 years at least.
Furthermore, the author also assumes that the interest of students enrolling in Omni and Humana is the same. Some students may prefer the online mode of study, but the same mode is not preferable by all. It could be possible that many students who wish to study at Humana prefer to connect with their tutor offline where they can directly communicate with the teacher and clarify their doubts in a clearer fashion. Also in online programs, it's not possible for the teacher to pay attention to each student and for this reason the student might be less attracted to online programs, thereby forcing themselves to choose other universities instead of Humana.
In conclusion, the author's argument is unpersuasive as it stands now. To bolster it further, the author must provide better concrete evidence, perhaps by way of a reliable survey depicting the number of students in both universities. Finally, to better evaluate the argument, it would be necessary to have information about the interest of students in online vs offline mode of education.