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Argument task - The following is a letter to the editor of the Rosevil
[#permalink]
06 Mar 2023, 10:00
06 Mar 2023, 10:00
The following is a letter to the editor of the Roseville Gazette.
“Despite opposition from some residents of West Roseville, the arguments in favor of merging the townships of Roseville and West Roseville are overwhelming. First, residents in both townships are confused about which authority to contact when they need a service; for example, the police department in Roseville receives many calls from residents of West Roseville. This sort of confusion would be eliminated with the merger. Second, the savings in administrative costs would be enormous, since services would no longer be duplicated: we would have only one fire chief, one tax department, one mayor, and so on. And no jobs in city government would be lost – employees could simply be reassigned. Most importantly, the merger will undoubtedly attract business investments as it did when the townships of Hamden and North Hamden merged ten years ago.”
The given argument about the merger of the township and west Roseville concludes that there is a number of advantages to the merger and provided three such examples. The writer of the argument also concluded that this merger will attract investments as it did previously for Hamden and north Hamden merger. The given argument is quite fallacious and based on unwarranted assumptions.
Firstly, the writer of the argument asserted that both townships are confused about the respective authorities to contact and merge to avoid this sort of confusion. Even if the townships are merged, people will still be confused if they have questions about the contacting authority, so awareness is more important than consolidation. It is quite illogical to jump to a conclusion without considering other options.
Secondly, the writer stated that merging the two towns will have enormous savings as the services are not duplicated. Even if the two towns are combined, the number of employees needed would still be the same as the number of citizens was still the same. In addition to that, having a single department for two whole towns can be more disadvantageous than advantageous. For instance, a fire department will be situated in a place where it has access to every part of town easily. If the two departments were merged then the fire department location would be the centre of the newly formed town. An increase in the area to be covered might result in a delayed response. If we were to consider that the two departments were still situated as they were before, then the expenses will still be the same. How are the savings in administered costs justified?
Thirdly, The writer concluded that this merger will definitely help in bringing business investments compared with an example of the Hamden and north Hamden merger ten years ago. Moreover, even if were to accept this fallacious relationship, we should not forget the fact that argumentation by analogy holds good only when the two things compared are similar to each other in all important and relevant aspects. A great deal can alter in ten years, and likely will. It makes no sense to compare those two circumstances. Furthermore, the writer did not provide any information regarding the Hamden and north Hamden merger. The economic conditions might have been suitable during that time or they might have had other advantages which resulted in more business investments. It is not guaranteed that the merger of Roseville and west Roseville will experience a similar rise.
In conclusion, the argument failed to convince the reader due to the absence of logically sounding evidence. It could have been strengthened by the argument if there had been more evidence to support the three stated premises.
“Despite opposition from some residents of West Roseville, the arguments in favor of merging the townships of Roseville and West Roseville are overwhelming. First, residents in both townships are confused about which authority to contact when they need a service; for example, the police department in Roseville receives many calls from residents of West Roseville. This sort of confusion would be eliminated with the merger. Second, the savings in administrative costs would be enormous, since services would no longer be duplicated: we would have only one fire chief, one tax department, one mayor, and so on. And no jobs in city government would be lost – employees could simply be reassigned. Most importantly, the merger will undoubtedly attract business investments as it did when the townships of Hamden and North Hamden merged ten years ago.”
The given argument about the merger of the township and west Roseville concludes that there is a number of advantages to the merger and provided three such examples. The writer of the argument also concluded that this merger will attract investments as it did previously for Hamden and north Hamden merger. The given argument is quite fallacious and based on unwarranted assumptions.
Firstly, the writer of the argument asserted that both townships are confused about the respective authorities to contact and merge to avoid this sort of confusion. Even if the townships are merged, people will still be confused if they have questions about the contacting authority, so awareness is more important than consolidation. It is quite illogical to jump to a conclusion without considering other options.
Secondly, the writer stated that merging the two towns will have enormous savings as the services are not duplicated. Even if the two towns are combined, the number of employees needed would still be the same as the number of citizens was still the same. In addition to that, having a single department for two whole towns can be more disadvantageous than advantageous. For instance, a fire department will be situated in a place where it has access to every part of town easily. If the two departments were merged then the fire department location would be the centre of the newly formed town. An increase in the area to be covered might result in a delayed response. If we were to consider that the two departments were still situated as they were before, then the expenses will still be the same. How are the savings in administered costs justified?
Thirdly, The writer concluded that this merger will definitely help in bringing business investments compared with an example of the Hamden and north Hamden merger ten years ago. Moreover, even if were to accept this fallacious relationship, we should not forget the fact that argumentation by analogy holds good only when the two things compared are similar to each other in all important and relevant aspects. A great deal can alter in ten years, and likely will. It makes no sense to compare those two circumstances. Furthermore, the writer did not provide any information regarding the Hamden and north Hamden merger. The economic conditions might have been suitable during that time or they might have had other advantages which resulted in more business investments. It is not guaranteed that the merger of Roseville and west Roseville will experience a similar rise.
In conclusion, the argument failed to convince the reader due to the absence of logically sounding evidence. It could have been strengthened by the argument if there had been more evidence to support the three stated premises.
Re: Argument task - The following is a letter to the editor of the Rosevil
[#permalink]
06 Mar 2023, 10:07
06 Mar 2023, 10:07
Expert Reply
Argument Essay
Assignment Score: 37.5
Writing quantity
1. You have written 455 words.
2. I count a total of 5 paragraphs.
3. You have written 23 sentences.
4. You have written 1 question.
Essay structure and content: 35%
Paragraph 1 - introduction: 20%
Opening:
The given argument about the merger of the township and west Roseville concludes that there is a number of advantages to the merger and provided three such examples.
I was expecting to find a question mark at the end of the first sentence of your introduction. There wasn't one. Remember to start your essay with a question to engage your reader's attention. Try questions like these: Have you ever seen...? or Did you know that...? Your score for this feature = 0/100
I detected one or more errors in your first sentence. That's not good. Your reader will begin reading your essay and immediately get a bad impression of your writing. Avoid scaring your reader off by checking your writing for errors. (If the system generates a false alarm, you can send an email to the contact us page with the sentence and I will fix it for you.) Your score for this feature = 0/100
Context:
I checked your introduction for words and phrases that writers use to establish the importance of their topic. I was unable to find any matches. Establish the importance of your topic with one of these phrases: a vital factor in, the leading cause of, widely considered to be, set to become, undergoing a revolution, is responsible for. Your score for this feature = 0/100
It is not clear to me which of these topics you have chosen to write about: abortion, climate change, animal rights, body image, feminism, immigration, internet censorship Your score for this feature = 0/100
Thesis:
The given argument is quite fallacious and based on unwarranted assumptions.
The last sentence of your introduction incorporates characteristics of a thesis statement that should have an impact on your reader. That's good. Remember that a good thesis statement should express a succinct debatable claim with supporting reasons that you can develop with evidence and reasons. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Paragraph 2 - first supporting argument: 28%
Topic sentence:
Firstly, the writer of the argument asserted that both townships are confused about the respective authorities to contact and merge to avoid this sort of confusion.
The first sentence of this paragraph will have a weak impact on your reader. You can improve this feature of your essay in the following ways:
Keep it short
Use a transition word: First, To begin, etc.
Use your own words--don't quote. Use quotes later in the paragraph to support your claim.
Ensure that your topic sentence makes one succinct debatable claim that will catch your reader's attention and that the rest of the paragraph will elaborate on with reasons and examples.
Here are examples of topic sentences that make a strong claim:
We need to tax processed food with added sugar to reduce the harm it is causing.
First of all, internet censorship is bad for business.
First, animals deserve a life without cruelty, pain, isolation, and misery.
Indeed, abortion must remain a matter of personal choice for the woman.
Above all, society must guarantee women workplaces free from sexual harassment.
Your score for this feature = 40/100
Argue:
You have used multiple words commonly used in argumentation. That's excellent. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's not good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Cite sources:
You have not included an in-text citation, as far as I can tell. I was expecting to find a capitalized name (Walker) or year (2019) in parentheses in your first body paragraph. Scholars must use and cite information from reliable sources. Speak to your teacher or review the lesson in your textbook about how to cite sources within your paragraph. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have not used any words commonly used for providing support. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Paragraph 3 - second supporting argument: 60%
Topic sentence:
Secondly, the writer stated that merging the two towns will have enormous savings as the services are not duplicated.
The first sentence of this second body paragraph has characteristics of a strong topic sentence. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Argue:
You have used a word commonly used in argumentation. That's good. Use one or two more argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Evidence:
You have used a word commonly used when giving evidence. That's good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Cite sources:
You have not included an in-text citation, as far as I can tell. I was expecting to find a capitalized name (Walker) or year (2019) in parentheses in your second body paragraph. Scholars must use and cite information from reliable sources. Speak to your teacher or review the lesson in your textbook about how to cite sources within your paragraph. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have used two words commonly used for providing support. That's good. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 80/100
Conclusion: 66%
Reformulation of the thesis:
In conclusion, the argument failed to convince the reader due to the absence of logically sounding evidence.
Your reformulated thesis in your conclusion is 16% the same as your thesis statement in your introduction. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
The first sentence of your conclusion takes a strong stance. That's very good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Recommendation:
The paragraph contains suggestion words like .
No recommendation? I checked your conclusion for advice words to see if you had recommended a course of action to your reader. I was unable to detect any of these words and their conjugations: should, must, have to, has to, ought to, recommend, propose, encourage. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Prediction:
The paragraph contains prediction words like .
No prediction? I checked your conclusion for prediction words to see if you had made a prediction. I was unable to detect any of these words: will, would, going to, likely to. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Vocabulary: 80%
Argument-related words: argument, by analogy, concludes, conclusion, evidence, fact, premises, relevant, so, stated, support
Feedback: You have used many words related to argumentation. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Topic-related words: citizens, evidence, rise
Feedback: You have used 3 or 4 controversy-related words in your essay. That's good. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Works Cited Section: 0%
Language Accuracy: 35%
Number of errors: 11
Feedback: I detected many errors in your writing. Reread your essay carefully and use a spell checker and grammar checker to help you identify and eliminate avoidable errors. Your score for this feature = 35/100
Grammar Check Feedback
You wrote: ...out the merger of the township and west Roseville concludes that there is a number of adv...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: Seville
You wrote: ...ct investments as it did previously for Hamden and north Hamden merger. The given argu...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: Camden, Hayden, Harden, Ham den
You wrote: ... it did previously for Hamden and north Hamden merger. The given argument is quite fal...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: Camden, Hayden, Harden, Ham den
You wrote: ...as access to every part of town easily. If the two departments were merged then th...
Feedback: Where is your comma? There does not seem to be one in this sentence. Separate your if-clause from your result-clause with a comma.
Suggestion:
You wrote: ...stments compared with an example of the Hamden and north Hamden merger ten years ago. ...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: Camden, Hayden, Harden, Ham den
You wrote: ...with an example of the Hamden and north Hamden merger ten years ago. Moreover, even if...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: Camden, Hayden, Harden, Ham den
You wrote: ...t provide any information regarding the Hamden and north Hamden merger. The economic c...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: Camden, Hayden, Harden, Ham den
You wrote: ...ormation regarding the Hamden and north Hamden merger. The economic conditions might h...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: Camden, Hayden, Harden, Ham den
You wrote: ...ght have been suitable during that time or they might have had other advantages wh...
Feedback: Use a comma before "or" between two independent clauses.
Suggestion: , or
You wrote: ...It is not guaranteed that the merger of Roseville and west Roseville will experience a si...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: Seville
You wrote: ...d that the merger of Roseville and west Roseville will experience a similar rise. In conc...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: Seville
Assignment Score: 37.5
Writing quantity
1. You have written 455 words.
2. I count a total of 5 paragraphs.
3. You have written 23 sentences.
4. You have written 1 question.
Essay structure and content: 35%
Paragraph 1 - introduction: 20%
Opening:
The given argument about the merger of the township and west Roseville concludes that there is a number of advantages to the merger and provided three such examples.
I was expecting to find a question mark at the end of the first sentence of your introduction. There wasn't one. Remember to start your essay with a question to engage your reader's attention. Try questions like these: Have you ever seen...? or Did you know that...? Your score for this feature = 0/100
I detected one or more errors in your first sentence. That's not good. Your reader will begin reading your essay and immediately get a bad impression of your writing. Avoid scaring your reader off by checking your writing for errors. (If the system generates a false alarm, you can send an email to the contact us page with the sentence and I will fix it for you.) Your score for this feature = 0/100
Context:
I checked your introduction for words and phrases that writers use to establish the importance of their topic. I was unable to find any matches. Establish the importance of your topic with one of these phrases: a vital factor in, the leading cause of, widely considered to be, set to become, undergoing a revolution, is responsible for. Your score for this feature = 0/100
It is not clear to me which of these topics you have chosen to write about: abortion, climate change, animal rights, body image, feminism, immigration, internet censorship Your score for this feature = 0/100
Thesis:
The given argument is quite fallacious and based on unwarranted assumptions.
The last sentence of your introduction incorporates characteristics of a thesis statement that should have an impact on your reader. That's good. Remember that a good thesis statement should express a succinct debatable claim with supporting reasons that you can develop with evidence and reasons. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Paragraph 2 - first supporting argument: 28%
Topic sentence:
Firstly, the writer of the argument asserted that both townships are confused about the respective authorities to contact and merge to avoid this sort of confusion.
The first sentence of this paragraph will have a weak impact on your reader. You can improve this feature of your essay in the following ways:
Keep it short
Use a transition word: First, To begin, etc.
Use your own words--don't quote. Use quotes later in the paragraph to support your claim.
Ensure that your topic sentence makes one succinct debatable claim that will catch your reader's attention and that the rest of the paragraph will elaborate on with reasons and examples.
Here are examples of topic sentences that make a strong claim:
We need to tax processed food with added sugar to reduce the harm it is causing.
First of all, internet censorship is bad for business.
First, animals deserve a life without cruelty, pain, isolation, and misery.
Indeed, abortion must remain a matter of personal choice for the woman.
Above all, society must guarantee women workplaces free from sexual harassment.
Your score for this feature = 40/100
Argue:
You have used multiple words commonly used in argumentation. That's excellent. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's not good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Cite sources:
You have not included an in-text citation, as far as I can tell. I was expecting to find a capitalized name (Walker) or year (2019) in parentheses in your first body paragraph. Scholars must use and cite information from reliable sources. Speak to your teacher or review the lesson in your textbook about how to cite sources within your paragraph. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have not used any words commonly used for providing support. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Paragraph 3 - second supporting argument: 60%
Topic sentence:
Secondly, the writer stated that merging the two towns will have enormous savings as the services are not duplicated.
The first sentence of this second body paragraph has characteristics of a strong topic sentence. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Argue:
You have used a word commonly used in argumentation. That's good. Use one or two more argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Evidence:
You have used a word commonly used when giving evidence. That's good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Cite sources:
You have not included an in-text citation, as far as I can tell. I was expecting to find a capitalized name (Walker) or year (2019) in parentheses in your second body paragraph. Scholars must use and cite information from reliable sources. Speak to your teacher or review the lesson in your textbook about how to cite sources within your paragraph. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have used two words commonly used for providing support. That's good. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 80/100
Conclusion: 66%
Reformulation of the thesis:
In conclusion, the argument failed to convince the reader due to the absence of logically sounding evidence.
Your reformulated thesis in your conclusion is 16% the same as your thesis statement in your introduction. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
The first sentence of your conclusion takes a strong stance. That's very good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Recommendation:
The paragraph contains suggestion words like .
No recommendation? I checked your conclusion for advice words to see if you had recommended a course of action to your reader. I was unable to detect any of these words and their conjugations: should, must, have to, has to, ought to, recommend, propose, encourage. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Prediction:
The paragraph contains prediction words like .
No prediction? I checked your conclusion for prediction words to see if you had made a prediction. I was unable to detect any of these words: will, would, going to, likely to. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Vocabulary: 80%
Argument-related words: argument, by analogy, concludes, conclusion, evidence, fact, premises, relevant, so, stated, support
Feedback: You have used many words related to argumentation. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Topic-related words: citizens, evidence, rise
Feedback: You have used 3 or 4 controversy-related words in your essay. That's good. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Works Cited Section: 0%
Language Accuracy: 35%
Number of errors: 11
Feedback: I detected many errors in your writing. Reread your essay carefully and use a spell checker and grammar checker to help you identify and eliminate avoidable errors. Your score for this feature = 35/100
Grammar Check Feedback
You wrote: ...out the merger of the township and west Roseville concludes that there is a number of adv...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: Seville
You wrote: ...ct investments as it did previously for Hamden and north Hamden merger. The given argu...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: Camden, Hayden, Harden, Ham den
You wrote: ... it did previously for Hamden and north Hamden merger. The given argument is quite fal...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: Camden, Hayden, Harden, Ham den
You wrote: ...as access to every part of town easily. If the two departments were merged then th...
Feedback: Where is your comma? There does not seem to be one in this sentence. Separate your if-clause from your result-clause with a comma.
Suggestion:
You wrote: ...stments compared with an example of the Hamden and north Hamden merger ten years ago. ...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: Camden, Hayden, Harden, Ham den
You wrote: ...with an example of the Hamden and north Hamden merger ten years ago. Moreover, even if...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: Camden, Hayden, Harden, Ham den
You wrote: ...t provide any information regarding the Hamden and north Hamden merger. The economic c...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: Camden, Hayden, Harden, Ham den
You wrote: ...ormation regarding the Hamden and north Hamden merger. The economic conditions might h...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: Camden, Hayden, Harden, Ham den
You wrote: ...ght have been suitable during that time or they might have had other advantages wh...
Feedback: Use a comma before "or" between two independent clauses.
Suggestion: , or
You wrote: ...It is not guaranteed that the merger of Roseville and west Roseville will experience a si...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: Seville
You wrote: ...d that the merger of Roseville and west Roseville will experience a similar rise. In conc...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: Seville
Argument task - The following is a letter to the editor of the Rosevil
[#permalink]
06 Mar 2023, 10:08
06 Mar 2023, 10:08
Expert Reply
I strongly suggest you to follow my guide located here https://gmatclub.com/forum/the-gmatclub ... 36251.html
I explain step by step an essay how must be structured
regards
I explain step by step an essay how must be structured
regards
