Re: please rate my analytical writting essays
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04 Feb 2023, 08:49
Essay structure and content: 48%
Paragraph 1 - introduction: 83%
Title:
I could not detect any word with four letters or more in your title that was not capitalized. This tells me that you have capitalized your title correctly. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Opening:
The content we are consuming today in the form of media has increased folds of violence as compared to the earlier times.
I noticed that you started your essay with a surprising statistic to engage the reader's attention. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Context:
I checked your introduction for words and phrases that writers use to establish the importance of their topic. I was unable to find any matches. Establish the importance of your topic with one of these phrases: a vital factor in, the leading cause of, widely considered to be, set to become, undergoing a revolution, is responsible for. There are others. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Thesis:
The movies, web series, songs, even news contains a higher rate of wordsor actions that are generally aligned with violence.
The last sentence uses provocative words that will make an impact on your reader. That's good. Remember that a good thesis statement should express a debatable claim that you can support with evidence and reasons. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Paragraph 2 - supporting argument: 50%
Topic sentence:
Media like movies have number of plots where in the protagnist is involved in violent activites which ultimaltely reflect their mettlesome nature.
The first sentence of your first body paragraph makes a very weak claim. You can improve your score by making a strong claim in the first sentence of each body paragraph that you can elaborate on with the rest of the paragraph. Here is an example of a topic sentence that makes a strong claim: We need to tax processed food with added sugar to reduce the harm it is causing. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Argue:
You have used two words commonly used in argumentation. That's good. Use one or two more argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 80/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have used a word commonly used when providing support. That's good. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Paragraph 3 - supporting argument: 20%
Topic sentence:
Use of bombastic language in media like songs or videos is also promoting childern to use such vocabularly which sometime may turn into a violent episode.
The first sentence of your first body paragraph contains words that will have an impact on your reader. That's good. You can improve this feature of your essay by strengthening your claim with provocative words.
Here is an example of a topic sentence that makes a strong claim: We need to tax processed food with added sugar to reduce the harm it is causing. Your score for this feature = 80/100
Argue:
You have not used any words commonly used in argumentation. Use argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have not used any words commonly used for providing support. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Paragraph 4 - supporting argument: 55%
Topic sentence:
It is said that children are the mirror of the enviroment they grow up in.
The first sentence of this paragraph contains words that will have an impact on your reader. That's good.
Nevertheless, remember this advice: an effective topic sentence in an argument essay should make a debatable claim that the rest of the paragraph will elaborate on with reasons and examples. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Argue:
You have used a word commonly used in argumentation. That's a good start. However, try to use one or two more argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have used a word commonly used when providing support. That's good. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Paragraph 5 - supporting argument: 15%
Topic sentence:
If the child watches his/her parents or the people in their parental role model engagging in violent episodes, they will pick up these habits because they lookup to them for all kind of habits.
Argue:
You have used a word commonly used in argumentation. That's a good start. However, try to use one or two more argumentation words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: by analogy, we can conclude, evidence, fact, fallacy, implication, follows that, it makes sense, opinion, point of view, posit, premise, proof, statistic, reason, relevance. Your score for this feature = 60/100
Evidence:
You have not used any words commonly used used when giving evidence. That's NOT good. Use one or two more words and phrases for giving evidence to get a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: according to, to quote from, tells us that, shows us that, referring to, argues that, stated, wrote, argued, discussed, expressed the concern that. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Support:
You have not used any words commonly used for providing support. Use one or two more support words and phrases for a higher score. Some examples of words that you can use are as follows: a case in point, an analogy, another way, as an example, as an illustration, consider, put another way. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Paragraph 6 - conclusion: 66%
Reformulation of the thesis:
I would like to conclude this by pointing out that even though the violence in the media is increasing, children's peer groups and role models also have a deep impact on them.
Your reformulated thesis in your conclusion is 14% the same as your thesis statement in your introduction. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Recommendation:
The paragraph contains suggestion words like
No recommendation? I checked your conclusion for advice words to see if you had recommended a course of action to your reader. I was unable to detect any of these words and their conjugations: should, must, have to, has to, ought to, recommend, propose, encourage. Your score for this feature = 0/100
Prediction:
I checked your conclusion for prediction words to see if you had made a prediction. It seems you have. That's good. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Vocabulary: 93%
Argument-related words: because, believe, conclude, since, so
Feedback: You have used a variety of words related to argumentation. That's good. Your score for this feature = 80/100
Vocabulary profile:
Feedback: 59% of your essay comprises the most common 1000 words in the language. You possess a very large vocabulary and excellent academic potential. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Academic vocabulary profile: involve, involved, response, role, conclude, consume, impact, normal, instance, reaction, promote, series, expose, incident, automatic, medium
Feedback: 16% of your essay comprises words from the academic word list. You possess a very large academic vocabulary and suggests excellent academic potential. Your score for this feature = 100/100
Language Accuracy: 35%
Number of errors: 27
Feedback: I detected many errors in your writing. Reread your essay carefully and use a spell checker and grammar checker to help you identify and eliminate avoidable errors. Your score for this feature = 35/100
Grammar Check Feedback
You wrote: ...gs, even news contains a higher rate of wordsor actions that are generally aligned with...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: words or
You wrote: ...d with violence. Media like movies have number of plots where in the protagnist is inv...
Feedback: You probably need a past participle here. Try this instead: "have numbed", "have numbered" or "have been numbering", "have been numbing". (pp98)
Suggestion: have numbed, have numbered, have been numbering, have been numbing
You wrote: ...ovies have number of plots where in the protagnist is involved in violent activites which ...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: protagonist
You wrote: ...n the protagnist is involved in violent activites which ultimaltely reflect their mettles...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: activities, activates
You wrote: ... is involved in violent activites which ultimaltely reflect their mettlesome nature. Since ...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: ultimately
You wrote: ...ng population is consuming this type of media on a regulara basis and that too in hig...
Feedback: You need a singular form here. Did you mean "" or "these types of media", "these types of mediums"?
Suggestion: , these types of media, these types of mediums
You wrote: ...on is consuming this type of media on a regulara basis and that too in high quantities, ...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: regular, regulars, regular a
You wrote: ...onse would be to get violently involved wtih the bully to either prove his strength ...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: with, WTH
You wrote: ...lly. However, this reaction can further escalte the situation rather than solving the p...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: escalate
You wrote: ... like songs or videos is also promoting childern to use such vocabularly which sometime ...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: children
You wrote: ... is also promoting childern to use such vocabularly which sometime may turn into a violent ...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: vocabulary
You wrote: ...metime may turn into a violent episode. Even though the person using such language was only...
Feedback: “Even though” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Suggestion:
You wrote: ...turned into something totally different than expected. It is said that children are ...
Feedback: Did you mean 'different "from"'? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
Suggestion: from
You wrote: ...aid that children are the mirror of the enviroment they grow up in. If the child is expose...
Feedback: You have a spelling error. You wrote "enviroment," but you should have spelled it like this: "environment".
Suggestion: environment
You wrote: ...rror of the enviroment they grow up in. If the child is exposed to violent inciden...
Feedback: Where is your comma? There does not seem to be one in this sentence. Separate your if-clause from your result-clause with a comma.
Suggestion:
You wrote: ... violent incidents more than often they mayaccquire this as the normal tendency and start t...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion:
You wrote: ...ith. So, it won't be wrong to aver that childern's peer group have a lasting impact on t...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: children
You wrote: ... a lasting impact on them. For example, Harish and his friends are a group of five fri...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: Parish, Harsh, Garish, Haris
You wrote: ... of five friends. If Rahul is a guy who thends to flex his muscle if he doesn't get wh...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: tends, trends
You wrote: ...doesn't get what he desires, the lesson Harish and his friends can learn is "if you do...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: Parish, Harsh, Garish, Haris
You wrote: ... get what you want, engaging in violent activites is justified". If the child watches his...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: activities, activates
You wrote: ...the people in their parental role model engagging in violent episodes, they will pick up ...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: engaging, en gagging
You wrote: ...models also have a deep impact on them. If the role models or groups have tedency ...
Feedback: Where is your comma? There does not seem to be one in this sentence. Separate your if-clause from your result-clause with a comma.
Suggestion:
You wrote: ...them. If the role models or groups have tedency to involved in these kind of violent in...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: tendency, ted ency
You wrote: ...s or groups have tedency to involved in these kind of violent incidents media is only...
Feedback: The word "kind" is singular, so you cannot use the plural determiner "these". Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
Suggestion: this kind, these kinds
You wrote: ... violent incidents media is only adding fue to the fire by glorifying violence as a...
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: due, fuel, fee, fun, fur, cue, foe, fuse, sue, Sue, hue, rue, UE, flue, ghee, fume, FCE, Tue, fie, fum, fut, AUE, BUE, FAE, FBE, FFE, FHE, FIE, FLE, FNE, FUD, FUP, FYE, Fe, GUE, Que, TFUE, fug, Fu, Xue, Yue
You wrote: ... violence as a mean to earn respect and potray strength and courage.
Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: portray, pot ray